A Conversation With ZoomBoy…


I know some of you are reading Bonfires as an ARc right now, and some of you are planning to read it later.

I need you to know that this conversation happened TODAY and not 10 months ago when I was writing the book!


“Mom… I have sort of a dirty joke for you. Do you want to hear it?”

(No, I am thinking. No, I absolutely do not want to hear my 13 year old baby tell me a dirty joke! It’s too soon! I’m too young! He’s too innocent!”

“Sure,” I say, because if I don’t say “Sure” someday he’ll hear about figging or some other WTF sexual practice and think it’s okay since his mother never told him that dirty jokes weren’t real and nothing that makes your flesh burn should ever be stuck up your butt.


“Okay, Mom– what do you get when you type an eight, an equal sign, an equal sign, a capital D and a bunch of squiggly lines.”

And for those of you who have a hard time visualizing this, let me help you–because, see, I used this IN A BOOK that might possibly be coming out in a couple of weeks.


Uhm, given the genre in which I write, that might seem a little familiar.

“That’s funny,” I told him. “I used that in a book. Except I put a greater/than symbol and a big O after it.”

Zoomboy peers into space, and I can tell he’s trying to visualize what this could possibly mean.

Let me assist…


“What does that mean… oh. OH! OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!”  

“And what have we learned from this incident?” I ask.

“Uh…” He is decidedly dazed.

“We’ve learned that any dirty joke you tell, Mommy knows a dirtier one. And what are you going to do with this new knowledge?”

“Uh, maybe not tell Mommy dirty jokes?”

“That’s my boy!”

Parenting… there’s some shit you just can’t anticipate until it hits you in the ascii.

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