Today, I was listening to an audiobook as we were waiting for ZoomBoy, and I was engrossed–like, totally engrossed. ZoomBoy jumped in to the car and suddenly sputtered.
“God, Mom, can I throw this out? This tastes awful!”
“Sure, honey– wait! No– that’s the dog water! Wait–“
“You couldn’t have told me before I drank it!”he complained.
“Well I didn’t expect you to drink it! Here! Drink this!” I handed him the ice water I bring with me when I pick the kids up–they’re always thirsty and so am I.
“Oh no!” he cried. Then, he held his hands to his throat and said in a cartoon voice, “Help me! I want to lick your face! I need to jump up! Who are all these people! I need to bark at them! Why am I not sitting on your lap! No! No! No! Help me! I have the–“
“Derpies!” I laughed, because he was doing a spot on impression of Geoffie if Geoffie could talk.
“I have the Derpies!” he said. “There is no cure!”
“Are you sure?” I asked. “Maybe if I stop and get you a slushy, that would cure the Derpies?”
He perked up and dropped the Geoffie impression. “Sure. Could you also get me some chicken tenders, because I also forgot my meds and I’m starving.”
“How about you, Squish–you want a slushy?”
“No, I’d rather have an ice cream instead. Wait–can we get a McFlurry?”
“Yeah, sure. One cure for the Derpies coming up. I had no idea McDonalds was into modern medicine.”
So now you know the cure for the Derpies. Also, don’t let your kids drink the dog water. It’s gross.