Good evening Ladies and Gents. Today, I present A Day In the Bucket Rating Scale. You know how it works–it’s a lot like the Drew Carey Point system on This Show. In short, the points don’t really matter– if something sucks, it sucks in buckets. If something’s awesome, well that comes in buckets too. Weirdness comes in buckets or spatters, and the rest I make up as I go along.
Shall we commence?
Today’s high of 109F? IIII–yup, that’s FOUR buckets of suck!
Harry Potter VI– IIIIIII– yup, count ’em– that’s SEVEN buckets of awesome. I don’t care if it’s religious to the books, it was a kick-ass movie.
Mamma Mia (which we’re watching as I type)– III–three buckets of awesome. Pierce Brosnan is still pretty, but my cat can sing better.
Chicken’s psycho cat and his bizarre affection for my feet– ** Yeah– that’s 2 spatters of weird.
Chicken’s newly made poppet in black and orange with big creepy glass eyes? — IIII –mmm hmm– I give it four buckets of awesome.
Big T’s enthusiastic commendation from the grandparents after camping– IIIIII–six buckets of awesome (bucket of course;-)
The Cave Troll’s big ass tantrum and refusal to fall asleep– III–that’s three buckets of suck, right there.
The two hornets nests I’ve had to kill in the last three days– II II –that’s two buckets of suck A PIECE!
The hidden hornets nest still producing black-jacketed nightmares? IIII–Five buckets of suck.
My two first round beta readers who are now reading Rampant and who will very gently tell me that it probably sucks just a little now, but that it may be fixable with some elbow grease– IIIIIII –Seven, count ’em, SEVEN buckets of awesome. Me <3 you guys! My parents for taking my two oldest to Lassen National park for a week and then telling me that they’re good kids- IIIIIII– SEVEN HUGE BUCKETS OF AWESOME. To my kids, for surviving– IIIII Five buckets of awesome. (They didn’t have to drive, pack, or plan.) To my fucking car tires for getting damned close to blowing out two weeks before I have enough money to replace them– III THREE buckets of suck. (It goes up to 10 buckets of suck if those fuckers blow before August 1st when I take the car in!!!) To my amazon numbers which are in the toilet right now– One bucket of suck. To 16 pages of Jack & Teague part 4: Changing– One-half a bucket of awesome. To the 1/3 a kid’s hat that I knitted during HP 6– 1/2 a bucket of awesome. To Cherry Almond Fudge ice cream– II–2 buckets of awesome. To a visit with my grandmother & mother tomorrow in the godless heat– IIII & II –4 buckets of awesome for the visit, which will make them both happy, and 2 buckets of suck for the godless heat, which makes nobody happy. To Abba, because Mate and I remembered more Abba than we thought we did– ** 2 spatters of weird. To Daniel Radcliffe who is totally turning into a hottie in spite of the fact that he’s still a fetus– *** 3 spatters of weird for ugly cougar vibes. To Socks That Rock colorway Rockstar for self-striping on Chicken’s half-pipe hat and TOTALLY pooling on Ladybug’s beanie– ** 2 spatters of weird. To reruns of Supernatural which allowed me to watch the I Know What You Did Last Summer episode which features the lines “Well, you wanted me to come clean!” “Yeah–but now I feel dirty!”– II– 2 buckets of awesome. To the giant bag of plastic bags going to the recycle bin that just appeared to my overworked eyes like a ‘plastic bag snowman’– **** –that’s a 4-star smattering of weird. To cold, clear water–IIIII– 5 buckets of awesome… and the jury’s going to write some more now! Later!