It sucks…
Wait, wait, there’s more.
It sucks REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD.
I do this every year. Every year I commit projects to students because I want to do it all. And then, once I’ve JUST ABOUT filled my project roster so that I, if I work very hard and ignore my family, might just finish my commitments by June, I fall completely out of love with the projects I’m working on, get stressed, hate my life and need to START ANOTHER PROJECT in the same, dreadful, urgent way that I NEED TO BREATHE.
But see, I CAN’T! I can’t, because I’m COMMITTED. It’s like committing to a bad marriage for five years–you know it’s going to end, you’ll know you regret it (brother, do I regret one of the projects I’ve committed to–it’s for one of the kids in the AP class who has been snide and behind my back all year, and the only reason I committed to it is that I wanted to take the high road and be the better person, but I’ve got to tell you that the high road is fucking dry, because that’s what the HIGH ROAD IS!!!) but, darn it, we’re knitters, and we don’t back out on a knitting commitment… we knit that baby blanket (longest black hole known to man…) we knit those leg warmers (lion brand Thick & Quick–’nuff said) we knit those socks (their one saving grace is that I picked an ultra cute pattern so I could be proud of them) and we knit those fingerless mitts (I’m dicking with the pattern. I can’t knit the same thing twice, even on request. Enough is enough.) And we knit them, and smile, and realize that the high road may be dry, but MacDonald’s is making diet coke in the X-Large size now, so we may just survive.
(And then we cast on something with no redeeming social or gift-giving value in the car, because it doesn’t count in the car. I’m sure that’s an idea that has wrecked many marriages, but this is knitting. We can have rules like that in knitting.)
The Wheels on the Bus (as I remember from my days taking the 10 o’clock Muni in San Francisco
Okay…so I didn’t sing the ENTIRE version the Cave Troll:-)
The…wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels on the bus go round and round, all around town…
The driver on the bus goes ‘pay your fare…’ all around town.
The wino on the bus goes, ‘used wine here, put used wine here, all your used wine here’ all around town.
The hooker on the bus goes ‘up and down, up and down…’ all around town.
The yuppie on the bus shouts ‘fix my car, fix my car, fix my car…’ all around town.
The teacher on the bus goes ‘shoulda been a banker, shoulda been a banker, shoulda been a banker…” all around town.
The crackhead on the bus goes, ‘eat some horse, gotta eat some horse, gotta eat some horse’ all around town…
The horse on the bus goes ‘let me off, let me off, let me off…’ all around town.
The driver on the bus goes ‘Don’t shit here! Don’t shit here! Don’t shit here!…’ all around town…
The chicken on the bus goes, ‘shoulda took a cab, shoulda took a cab, shoulda took a cab…’ all around town.
The mama on the bus goes, ‘don’t look there, and don’t look there, and don’t look anywhere,’ all over town.
(Just for you, Catie!)
The grad student on the bus goes, ‘let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleep’, the grad student on the bus goes, ‘one more stop…’ all over town…
(For Knittech:-)
The knitter on the bus goes ‘click click frog, click click frog, click click frog’ all around town…
(For Roxie:-)
The teenager on the bus goes ‘dude this sucks, dude this sucks, dude this sucks…’ all around town…
The chaos on the bus goes round and round, round and round, round and round, the chaos on the bus goes round and round…
All….over….town…
