Hmmm…on the amy lane front:
* Work was barely redeemable today. I may live.
* I thank you all so much for your warm wishes from my last post–it was really wonderful and you all confirmed my faith in mankind, period the end. I love you all.
* Is anybody having visions of some transient identity thieving crackhead asshole running around in 1 handpainted merino yarn sock? Yeah, me too.
On the Cave Troll front:
* The Cave Troll is on the mend–I’m at work, he’s at day care, all is right with the world.
* He’s thinking about potty training now. This is good.
* He’s grasping his potty training tool in his fist until it turns purple and screaming because nothing’s coming out. This is bad, looks terribly uncomfortable, and is completely beyond his mother’s ken. Dad needs to help, there is no other way.
* The Cave Troll now says the same thing every time I belt him into his car seat. “Be careful of my nuts.” This is from dad, who both squashed his nuts accidentally, and then used that word to explain what he had done. Must say, it cracks me up like a pecan, that.
* Wednesday, when he was sick, he came running in with an unopened package of toilet paper, screaming ‘Open open open’-curious, because we have several OPENED packages of said item, I did as he asked. The took a roll, carefully unraveled two exact squares, and blew his nose, then threw away the used tissue. Love that kid.
On the Big T front:
*Big T asked a girl to go to the dance with him this week. He’s the only kid in the communication handicapped class to do so–all his buddies were egging him on. We told him to go for it, if he thought his heart was strong enough to deal with an answer of ‘No.’
* She said ‘No.’ (I pumped his sister for information–she told me the girl was nice about it…’I don’t feel the same way about you, but it’s okay if you like me like that’–pretty classy for an 8th grader, actually. Good, I was all prepared to go rip her heart out if she was a total girlshit about the big, bear-shaped CH kid asking her out, but she wasn’t.) T told me he was ‘taking it like a man’.
*’Taking it like a man’ apparently involves eating ice cream and watching Top Gun. I didn’t want to point out that this was actually taking it like a woman, because I didn’t want him to go out and shoot small animals instead.
On the ‘Chicken’ front:
* She keeps asking for a new addition to the rodent graveyard in front of our house. Of course, that’s not how SHE’S phrasing it, but we all know how these things end.
On the ‘Ladybug’ front (also known as the Adorable Infant front):
*She was so cute she inspired an “I don’t want to go to work” crying jag of epic proportions this morning. Her little cheeks are just so squishy, I want to kiss them all day.
*The Cave Troll insists on beating the snot out of her. Her response to this is to give him a non-verbal equivalent of ‘get off me you Neanderthal, the alligator piano is for everyone!’ This is not what we hear, but her big blue eyes are very eloquent.
On the blog front:
Julie’s dying fabulous yarn–you must see.
Roxie’s
poor kitty is now hobbling around on three legs. I feel dreadful for him, however, I was expecting worse news and it makes me happy to know he’ll be whining at Roxie and feeling sorry for himself for a little while to come. This really sucks because I can’t comment on Roxie’s blog from work (where I comment on many of your blogs…I don’t know why it picks on her blog but it kills me!) and I just want to give her a big bloggy hug… poor kitty, I really feel for both of you!
Louiz’s little girl has the chickenpox–and I got a good and thorough grounding on the word bollocks! I love that word. I may use it a lot in the coming months.
yeppers, bollocks is an awesome word. Thank you so much for being so funny – I really needed it today and you made me laugh out loud. Right up there with the Yarn Harlot – what a hoot today’s entry was over there!
“I didn’t want him to go out and shoot small animals instead”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Classic. 🙂
I’m so grateful I haven’t had to train a boy. The worst DD does is not wipe after pee-pee (she can’t wipe the other; we still do that for her), which will make her little parts turn red after awhile. But purple? Gads! Poor guy.
I do have to say I’m sad I will never hear my little one say, “Mama, watch out for my nuts.” I could train her to say that, though. I wonder what her daycare teacher would think! 😉 Then again, we might end up in jail for that one. Best not to ….
“Watch out for my nuts, Momma.” Sqeeeee! I would have fallen down laughing over that. That Cave Troll says the most amazing things! “I’m a little psychopath!”
Never having trained a little boy, I can’t say for sure, but if he sits on the potty and you dribble a cup of warm water over his training tool, I understand that promotes hydraulic action. Good luck on that one!
And hooray for big T, being brave and asking the young lady to the dance! Also hooray for the nice girl who showed such class in turning him gently down. I want to send her a chocolate truffle for doing the right thing. I wish I were young enough to go to the dance with him.