A What?

Ladybug has figured out how to climb out of the crib. For the uninitiated into BedTime Wars, this is a BAD THING. She is in her little crib right now, screaming “Out there…get out there…” Except her face is red and her voice is hoarse from shrieking and it’s not nearly as cute as it sounds. (And looking back over this, it don’t sound that cute.) Anyway, the Cave Troll was too much a lover of order and control to ever dream of climbing out of his crib. He could, all right–he’s got the best physical skills of the four, but as for WANTING him too…as it is, he won’t sleep in his own bed–he would rather sleep between Mate and I because it feels more like the crib.

Sometimes, I wish we could plug one child into another and download the program that would make our lives easier. Alas. Not to be.

Anyway–we stayed up, watched SNL and then watched the ball drop, jumped up and down and hugged the kids, and then…went to bed. Roxie said everything I was thinking about arbitrary days to denote a new year, and all I can add is “Go darlin'” My life is really good, I resolve to lose weight and check my e-mail less, and basically, what it really means is that people took their lights down and my walk is a little less picturesque.

Oh–and I’ve figured something out about myself…green is my favorite color. Sort of. Now see–it’s hard to put a finger on–I don’t kid around about being a color-slut. There are days when I just want them all, and I’m pretty sure they all want me. So I’m going to go on a stash dive and count how many skeins of purple sock yarn I have versus how many skeins of green I have. I’m having a feeling that, (much like my heroine, Cory, and her two lovers, Bracken and Green) it’s going to be a toss up–on one day purple may be the thing I need, and on the next day, green feeds my jones to perfection. Wouldn’t it be funny, though, if the purple outweighed the green? Then, wouldn’t it be true that purple would be my new Green? (Okay, the book people are going to think that’s hilarious. So, basically, I wrote a knitting joke for five people who both knit and read my books. I think my next New Year’s resolution should be not to do shit like that anymore because it’s so totally dumbass there is no excuse for it, that’s what I think!)

And speaking of dumbass jokes…

When we were at my friend’s wedding, I walked into the bathroom, which was not connected to the rest of the reception hall, and prayed I could peel my ass off of the freaking cold toilet seat when my mission had been accomplished. (I had visions of being stuck there, like that kid in ‘A Christmas Story’, except with less dignity.) When I came back to Mate I said, “My God! Even a witch would need tit-warmers in there!”

He said, “A what?”

*sigh* Maybe my real New Year’s resolution should be to forget that I ever thought I had a sense of humor, that’s what it should be! That, and to finish Roxie’s wonderful book. I’ve been reading slowly–mostly because it’s my vacation and I feel like it. And the book is worth the savor, so that helps! Tomorrow, I resolve to be humorless, matter-of-fact, and no nonsense. I also resolve to be a size 12 overnight.

See ya in skinny pants!

0 thoughts on “A What?”

  1. Humor is in the eye of the beholder (all six of them).

    If you’re going for the overnight loss, might as well go for the size 8 or is 8 too greedy?

  2. roxie says:

    You do SO have a sense of humor! And I bet if you told another woman the joke about the cold bathroom, she would have laughed. It’s all in the audience. And if you are the only person laughing, it’s still a damn fine joke!!

    Give Cave Troll a couple of body pillows, and put a net over the top of the bug’s crib.

  3. Siercia says:

    Hahahaha. *I* think the titwarmers joke is funny!

  4. Bells says:

    well if you figure out how to be a size 12 overnight, also expect to be a freaking billionaire!

    Lots of us seem to be resolving to check our email less. I wonder why…?

    Happy new year to you and yours!

  5. sheila says:

    Let me know how that overnight thing works out! I have to fit into a bridesmaid dress in a few months and it could save me a lot of time for knitting instead of working out! lol, Who are we kidding, working out…yeah right! Keeping my fingers crossed on the overnight success!

    Happy 2008!

  6. Donna Lee says:

    Losing weight is overrated. If it ‘s a choice between a cookie and an apple, the cookie wins out every time. And I got the tits joke. Maybe it’s a female thing.

  7. TinkingBell says:

    Yep – size 12 overnight – and I’m going to be 6 feet tall and have bright red hair down to my ass!

  8. Galad says:

    Just to keep things in perspective. Our son stayed in his crib until we decided to move him and our daughter climbed out way earlier than I was ready for her to. Both are successful adults but she is a lot more independent. If all else fails I like the net idea!

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