AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH….

I cannot tell you all how frustrated I am to be here, at school, blogging when I could be at home, with my children doing the exact same thing.

The students are gone, graduation is over–I got to take tickets at the gate, which was good on the one hand because I got to A. see kids I hadn’t seen in years as they came for their siblings/cousins etc. and B. leave early enough to get Chicken from her recital rehearsal. On the other hand, I didn’t get a chance to see MY students, the kids from my 6th period class that I REALLY ADORED, (the other ones would just avoid me…) after they got their diplomas. That’s really an awesome time to see kids–there is a lot of hugging going around when they know they’ve made it.

So, graduation is over, but I am here. Why? (Somebody guess…I know you’ll get it…)

Yes, you guessed it boy and girls! My fucking grading program decided to have one more ginormous laugh at my expense, and I haven’t been able to enter any of my final projects or notebooks or finals or extra credit for an entire fucking week. My room is about clean–my desk is all that remains, but I can’t really clean it right now because it has two feet of papers on it and I’m at a loss. What in the fuck do I have to do to get the hell out of this cesspool until August 13th? Anyone? God? Goddess? Oueant, Dueant, Triane? Hell, Zeus, Hera, Athena, Thor, Freya, Geoff god of Biscuits, ANYONE know how I can leave the sand trap that is my job for my allotted mental health hiatus? Because I am at a complete loss–I’ve told all of my administrators, I’ve put in fix-it tickets, I’ve wept copiously…none of it seems to be working. (Except the weeping–I felt much better then…) And I’m wondering if I’m in some sort of surreal copy of reality where nothing I’ve done all semester has no actual value… oh, wait…my sophomores all tanked their finals, no, no, that’s for real…

On the good news front… (must.maintain.optimism…) I got another plaque! This one says “Most honorable AP teacher, class of 2007.” I cried with this one. A lot. And, to be fair to the day, it has not been entirely wasted at my desk, writing (yeah, I know, a day writing is NOT a day wasted–but it sucks when it’s here and not home). No–two of my most excellent boys came by and we went out to lunch with two other teachers and had a great conversation about everything…some of our best moments are unscripted, yes? I enjoyed myself immensely.

Then I came back to an unfixed computer and the knowledge that my children were still taking their naps in day care and I wanted to weep…this is so unfair. Of all things, I NEED, almost physically REQUIRE the act of getting the hell out of dodge… and it’s not happening and I want to cry.

(Breathe, breathe, breathe…)

Okay… I just thought of a reason I don’t want to be home.

The Cave Troll has developed this very unhealthy enabling/co-dependent relationship with the Ladybug…you think I’m kidding? This morning, she wandered around the house, looking for stuff to destroy (she’s such a little GOZER…baby goddess of destruction, I’m not kidding!) and the Cave Troll, (get this!) followed her around with an empty ice chest so she could reach stuff she ordinarily couldn’t get.

Can you believe that funky bullshit? It’s not enough that we had to chase HIM around the house when he was doing this, now we have to chase the BOTH of them while he helps her out? Great gobs of gooseshit, people, Mate and I are in soooooooooooooo much trouble… sitting in my classroom writing doesn’t look so bad now, does it?