Administrators Who Give You Cancer

“Okay guys–I need your eyes up here. I need the ed’s (electronic devices) put away and your eyes up here. Guys, you need to stop talking, put your ed’s away and look up. Okay, Ratfucker and Insincere Dumbshit, I need you to put that way. I’m right here in your face, and you’re turning your bodies away from me? Put that away. Put it away. Guys, I’m six inches from your face, okay, here GIVE ME THAT!”

The kid wrestled it back. It was physical. I let him have it and said, “Get the hell out of my room.”

I sent a T.A. with Ratfucker’s referral– experience has shown that he’s inclined to throw them away. He threatened her the entire trip up to the office, and she told the vice principal.

I backed it up with an e-mail saying this kid needs to be suspended for real.

The kid was back at my class today–and I wouldn’t let him in. He said “Bon-bone told me you were being disrespectful when you just grabbed my phone without warning.”

“Without warning?”

“Yeah, you didn’t ask for it or anything…”

I got in his face–“Ratfucker, I was as close as I am to you right now… is it comfortable? Do you know I’m here?”

“I only wanted to finish…”

“I don’t care–it was over. You were being disrespectful, and then you threatened my T.A. Get the hell out of my room.”

“So she says.”

“Stay here until security comes.”

Of course, he’s gone by then.

And so on.

Another kid I sent out for talking got sent back because, in MY ADMINISTRATOR’S WORDS, “You’re being petty.”

And in the meantime, every day these motherfuckers are tardy. Every. Fucking. Day. I mark them tardy most days–and they don’t care. But what kills me is the time before they get there. The entire class just stares at the places I have to MOVE THEM FROM EVERY DAY BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN TAUGHT THAT MY REQUESTS ARE PETTY AND INCONSEQUENTIAL and says, “It would be nice if the class could stay like this. Just like this.”

The kids who have been taught that I’m shit they step in by the administrator that should have my back walk in tardy and laughing, and interrupting me while I’m speaking, and all the shit that they think they’re entitled to do thanks to this spineless prickweenie who doesn’t think that one disrespect leads to another (including, maybe, this furious blogpost). The kids they’re hurting stare at them and look at me helplessly. They sigh. “Too bad,” they mutter under their breath, and then, when the the motherfuckers have polluted my room enough, they join in the hilarity. After all, it doesn’t matter. I’m nobody.

Their vice principal told them so.


Okay, now that I’ve ranted against Ratfucker’s best friend, Vainglorious Prickweenie the bajillionth, let’s move on to happy shit.

For one thing, that class that I think I hate to the n’th level, actually has some decent kids in it–and imagine my surprise when they all stood up and started freaking out in the middle of a movie. All of them were boys, and they were all losing their nuts about a spider… “It’s big, Ms. Lane.” “It’s black and hairy. It scares me.”

Of course, by this time, I’d been pretty ticked by the whole Ratfucker and Vainglorious Prickweenie the bajillionth episode, not to mention hearing the kid who can’t spell his own name call me ‘petty’– a word I’m pretty sure was fed to him with a rubber coated spoon, so my ‘Pagan creed’ was left to shred in the wind.

I pulled my sweater around my wrist and beat that little fucker to a pulp, and when the kids asked, “Where did it go?” I scraped the mushed little body off my sweater and said, “It’s in the trash. Sit down.”

At the end of class, one of those kids waited until after class. “Thanks for killing the spider, Ms. Lane. I really hate them.”

*laugh* At least I’m someone’s hero.


And all that being said, I’d like to thank you all for following the link yesterday–it was awesome that you liked the essay– I may be doing a couple more of those between now and the 18th–they’re going into my presentation at the library. And Galad’s Gallant Daughter? I can’t thank you enough for telling me you liked Bitter Moon II–not a lot of reviews up yet, and, like all of writers, my feedback-blood-sugar is eternally low.

I’m also shyly pleased by how happy you all are that I’m actually working on RAMPANT. I’ll try not to let you all down. (And don’t forget, the Jack & Teague will be released shortly after–I hope you all like that as well.)

And now, after a day and a dentist appointment (Big T’s) and picking the dog up at the vet and Chicken’s dance lessons and a nutritious dinner by Taco Bell…

I’m off to knit and watch television with the big kids. Small pleasures, big enjoyment.

Lubs to alls of yous!

0 thoughts on “Administrators Who Give You Cancer”

  1. DecRainK says:

    I so feel for you. I am only a substitute teacher so, most of the time, I don’t have to deal with the same fuckers for more than one day at a time, but I so feel for you. The way I deal with crap like that, especially when the administration doesn’t back me up and gets upset over my writing 2 referrals in one day (not even the same class), is to give treats and suggest extra credit to those few (often just 2 or 3) students who didn’t inspire new and inventive ways of murder…. lol sorry for the long answer… I subbed for a sophomore English and senior Shakespearean comedy class for the last two days and the fuckers just got on my nerves.

  2. It really sucks when your boss doesn’t back you. (Process is X, you know that Mr Supervisor. Agent didn’t follow X, they did Y. It blows, but he was stupid. What Gnome? It has to be changed because Mr Supervisor is your buddy who smokes with you? Fucker.) However, you are doing what you love to do – at home!

  3. Donna Lee says:

    It always amazes me that kids get away with the shit they do. Remember when we were in school? That kind of behavior got you expelled. Is it because we’re afraid of them? Or the parents? Where do they learn it’s OK to behave that disrepectfully? I would have grounded my kids to death for treating a teacher that way.

  4. roxie says:

    Boy, real life is going to be a wonderful wake-up call for li’l Ratfucker. You missed a job interview because you were late? No one wants to hire you? You have to steal to pay your phone bill? Oh, the guys in jail are going to love YOUR ass!

  5. Galad says:

    It does suck when your boss doesn’t back you!

    Good thing you are getting close to the end of the school year.

    Hang in there – summer is coming.

  6. ismarah says:

    Oy. Rampant coming out and a Jack & Teague? Things to buy? Oy. I'll have to keep achieving things at school that lead husband to reward me then. Otherwise I can't afford my Laneaddiction and then she (being my dealer) has to rely on others for her own feedback fix. Oy vey.

  7. TinkingBell says:

    Shits – I used to throw them out – and demand they stood outside the class in the corridor where I could see them If they didn’t – I just failed them – with great glle – so there asshat – you’ve failed!

  8. GrillTech says:

    What surprises me all the time are the ones that do the same kinds of things when they are in college (Okay ITT Tech). Why would you pay so much to go to school then sit in the back of the class and play WOW on your laptop?

    I just let them hang themselves and then in week 8 or 9 of an 11 week class when they ask why they are failing I point out that they haven’t turned in any homework and don’t pay attention so they aren’t passing quizzes..

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