Amy’s Little Rules of Christmas

*  She who plans to craft for Christmas inevitably ends up crafting for at least two weeks AFTER Christmas.

*  She who buys gifts with a raging head cold will inevitably look at the inequitable piles wrapped for her children and think, “I could have SWORN we bought more than that for child X!”

* She who is exhausted on Christmas morning may–possibly–look at child X who is trying valiantly not to be hurt and go, “WAIT! IT’S HERE! WE FORGOT TO WRAP IT! LOVE ME!” Or, you know, something to that effect.

* If she who is exhausted is really blessed, Child X will pretend that the hidden gift makes up for the teeny pile and all will be well.

* She who goes shopping with a head cold for five different pairs of pajama pants will be lucky if she doesn’t end up with two in COMPLETELY THE WRONG SIZE.

*  She is seldom that lucky.

* She whose husband makes fudge for everybody is possibly the luckiest bitch on the planet, hands down, no holds barred.

* She who thinks she has it all nailed down two days before Christmas inevitably has several fuckups to answer for on the exact day.

*  She who has fucked up several times on Christmas day is entitled to a long, blissful nap of self pity the day after.

* She of the several thousand fuckups can still be the luckiest person on the planet if all her children still love her at the end, and her parents think she’s done okay and if–IF–she finally gets her nap.

Was a great Christmas all– the pictures speak for themselves 🙂


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