Okay… health still bad, doc still puzzled, only now they’re throwing out scary words like ‘malignancy’ and ‘colonoscopy’ and I’m trying to keep my cool even as I keep you posted. That being said, I’m going on to some random stuff that has made me happy in the last couple of days…
*** I got stuck between Borat and two clones of my 6th period class nightmare kids today… it was actually pretty frickin’ hilarious because they were both having conversations at the same time–and that Borat dude was having his with anyone who would listen…
(Imagine thick Eastern European Accent–from hereon, EEA) So, I don’t think those whales are going to go back…
(Blonde clones) So Sunday’s your birthday? Dude, we so have to party…
(EEA) I think we’re just going to have pour ice on them and fly them to Alaska or something…
(Blonde clones) And I’m so glad I didn’t go to my 2nd period class because, dude, everyone got kicked out…
(EEA) I mean, what is the big deal right, the whales will go home when they are ready, right?
(Blonde clones) And I hate that teacher, she is such a bitch! I don’t know why we have learn sociology anyway…
(EEA) In my country, we would eat the whales, if they were not smart enough to go back…
(Blonde clones) BEcause it’s not like it’ll even help us to learn about other countries…who are we going to meet?
And I just knit through it all…
Oh… funny thing the second…
We’ve discovered the source of the unholy stench that was rolling through the house like the fart of a thousand demons eating beans and rotten cheese.
It came from Chicken’s shoes…
I was sitting in my chair saying things like, “Holy God what is that stench?” when my daughter said, “It’s my shoes.”
“The hell you say!” If it had been her feet, do you think she would not have mentioned this?
“No, no–they’re right there…Good God, mom, don’t…”
“AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It smells like vulture barf crawled up Satan’s ass and died!!!!!”
“I told you not to smell them…it’s because I don’t have any socks.”
“I’ll get you some socks…” I said weakly. “And some foot powder, and some shoe powder, and a freaking exorcist…just get those things away from me now!!!!!”
In light of today’s doc ap, this one isn’t funny, but it is heartwarming, so I’ll leave you with it:
I was prepping my kids for the fact that I might be there and not there and there and not there, and suddenly, a student of mine–not an A student, but one of my absolute favorite kids this year because she’s got a good mind and a better heart and she turns to me with tears in her eyes and says, “Oh, God, Mz Mac, you don’t have cancer do you?”
God love her–she was really shook. I reassured her with more sincerity than I felt and thought, “Hey–this kid thinks I’m important.” It made it worth it to haul my sorry, sweaty ass to work that day. And probably tomorrow too.
Oh gosh, down the scary slope of what can it be. Hope they find out quickly and it’s nothing serious. Because you have more students who need to be touched by you.
Well, goodness those are some scary words. I’ll be sending positive thoughts your way. I find febreeze works great on shoes I wear without socks.
Now doesn’t touching story make up 200% for the little shit and his mother of a couple of days ago?
You’re so not going to get anything serious. I’m certain of it. this is just a glitch and you’ll be fine.
Oh bless your dear heart! As if you don’t have enough on your plate right now. Hugs, hugs! There, there, Baby. There, there!
OK, when you are ready to pull your socks up,remind yourself that you can imagine a gazillion horrible things to worry about and all that worrying is a waste of time untill you actually KNOW what’s going on.
Then remind yourself that you are not the first human being to go through this. There are hundreds (thousands?)of people who have done this already and can give you hints and help. Whatever it is, other people have survived it and are living normal lives now. And so can you. Just another fucking speedbump in a long and eventful life.
I’m here. Lean as much as you like. Whine, rant, and freak out if you like. Whether it’s acute frustration breaking out in fevers, or something more serious, you don’t have to do it alone.
Yeah! What Roxie said (though she said it better).
Try not to anticipate (this from the woman who made her husband be tested for genetic diseases before she would get preggers….) just keep breathing. Seriously. We need the stories that are in your head.
ROTFLMAO at DD’s shoes. Really. That’s too fucking funny.
And AWWWWWW on the student! Really. I really mean it. That’s so sweet. I’d go into work for a week if one of my coworkers did that. Hopefully you can ride that through the end of the year.
i hope they figure out what is wrong soon and that whatever it is is fixable.
and Chicken had no socks and didn’t tell you?! i’m laughing about this (I am very tired too – so I think I’m finding it doubly funny)…