Because Grilltech Threatened

Seriously– can you believe it? The man threatened to give me SPOILERS of THE show… since he sees it before I do. Knittech–how could you let him do that to me?

But, because he threatened, I’ll send you some pictures…

I’m sorry–I’m way too inept to rotate the picture in the computer–I’m letting the one of Chicken by herself stay sideways–but don’t forget to tilt your computer so you can see the slouchy hat I finished in Crabby McCrabbypants while we were in the car on the way. Roxie, notice how it complements her Ren Faire outfit TO A T! It was really awesome–and she couldn’t be happier with the hat itself. It especially looked good with the little devil horns her Auntie Wendy bought her for her birthday. (And for the record, I fixed the disaster of my hair about three minutes after that picture was taken.)

As for the faire itself–it WAS a lot of fun–in spite of the fact that we could buy very very very little (including food–because BOY howdy, was that expensive!) However, we did get to see Moonie (who is awesome and hilarious) even if we did miss Moonie and Broon. (Broon also is awesome and hilarious, but we managed to miss him completely and see Moonie twice. Weird.) It’s funny (or not so much–just ask Moonie!) but he had a HELL of a time getting a Ren Faire employee to cooperate with him at the beginning of the show, and then his volunteer was an idiot… and he just broke character and laid it down. “I’m funny. People pay me all over the damned country. Could you just trust me on this and do what I’m telling you to?” I was impressed. On the one hand, it was relatively unprofessional–but then, I can be relatively unprofessional too. (You’ve all seen that–in the writing arena, dealing with nasty heifer trolls, in the teaching arena, dealing with irritating little fuckers–I’m very rarely all about keeping my composure.) What impressed the hell out of me was the guy’s self-assurance. I AM FUNNY. TRUST ME. WATCH AND LAUGH. And he was right–he was hella funny, and the reluctant volunteer liked him by the end, and I’m hoping the drunken employee got fired, because she was just dumb as hell. But Jees… how much confidence you have GOT to have to just lay it down to a group of people like that.

He wasn’t the only act at the faire that had me thinking like that. You must know–the Faire was HELLIFICALLY hot–like 106 F. (What is that? 34 C?) Anyway, It was hot and miserable–the short people would have had a lot more fun if we could have just BREATHED in the thick, searing dust. Early on, we got to see the contortionists–the dancers in the air– on the center stage. Titania came out and she was young–not uber-skinny, like a lot of dancers, but lovely, fairly tall with long long thick curly blonde hair–and she was good. She was graceful and practiced and making the moves she did in the air, suspended by only a curtain wrapped around her feet or her legs, depending on the move. And the thing is, as I got closer, I saw a bandage around her foot and her hair around her face, making her sweat and how hard this all was for her, and it hit me.

There’s not much an artist won’t give up to bring some beauty in the world. Whether she’s the diva at Cirque de Soleil, or this lovely, brave gymnast doing her damnedest at Ren Faires over the country, there is some serious self sacrifice in making artistic dreams come true.

I always wonder if I’ve got that amount of commitment in me, you know?

But other than that, we saw the Jousting (which we NEVER get to see) and my heart wept for those dashing, brave, tasty young men, frying like bacon under their armor. Again, THAT’S dedication. (Their show is getting riskier every year–no one FALLS off a horse on purpose.) The little kids got to play with the catapults and some other games, and overall, it was time well spent. Bone Daddy got a wooden axe, Chicken bought Ladybug a little monkey doll, and Auntie Wendy spoiled us a little on our birthdays–she got Chicken some devil’s horns and me a vial of my rose/cinnamon/ambergris oil that is the only perfume that hasn’t smelled like bugspray on me. She also got T an ocarina (one of those little clay flutes) which unfortunately had me singing a lot of the songs–my poor family. No one should hear an almost 42 year old woman belt out Stairway To Heaven unless she’s good enough to get paid.

Today, we stopped by the beach–which was a LOVELY refreshing change from the Faire, and we spent nearly three hours there. We built sand-things. (Sand cats, sand horses, sand versions of ‘The Scream’–uhm, that was me.) And yes–some sand castles. There was a pod of sea lions off shore and we watched them frolic the entire time. Here was where we got to see Bone Daddy in his natural element–he ran and ‘sacrificed his legs to the cold ocean’–believe it or not, his words. Ladybug sat and built sand things, and we heard the sea lions. I said, “Ladybug, do you hear that?” and she said, “Arr Arr Arr Arr,” in a passable imitation. I was very impressed.

And then we came home… and that part was hot and tired and dusty, and I give many thanks that the short people slept through most of it–and now they’re waiting for me to whip up some Top Ramen. It’s a good thing they like that stuff–we’re going to be eating it for a LOOOONNNNNGGGGGG time.