So, I did not start Bobby Green as I’d planned–but I am eyeballs deep in a sooper sekrit brand new urban fantasy that I shall maybe discuss later.
However, I do plan to start Bobby Green sometime, and I seem to have cancelled my porn subscription for reasons like time and money.
And I noticed that Sean Cody had a sort of sale.
So I signed up for porn.
Except the porn subscription thing double billed me, and I called up customer service to fix it, and then a thing happened, and another thing, and a “You could get three months for $39!” thing and a “Except my bank card now thinks somebody else is ordering porn because, why would I need it I am almost ancient and sexless!” and suddenly?
I had to call my bank and get embarrassingly personal.
“Well, uh, cause I’m a writer, and I was ordering porn, and I got double-billed and the bank card and the thing and I said fuck it, I can watch porn later on something that will give my computer the clap like everybody else!”
And then– I shit you not–the nice lady on the other end of the line made a suspicious noise.
“I am NOT laughing!” she insisted.
“You are too,” I said. “That’s okay. You do not hurt my feelings.”
“Good,” she said, busting out. “Because that’s something I would do.”
So she understood.
But then I had to text my husband, because he’d gotten the message from Wells Fargo that his wife–who had been sitting home all day– had somehow used her bank card in a way that needed a hold.
“What did you do?”
“Well, I cancelled my Corbin Fisher subscription and I thought I’d try Sean Cody, but the thing went blargh and I’m on it. I called the bank and took the hold off. The bank lady thought I was hysterical.”
To which he replied, “Good. So did I.” And then, a little later, he texted, “So did all of the people I was having lunch with, too.”
And all in all, I seem to have made many people happy today.
I hope I made you happy too.
