Before going shopping in Target…

Make sure you are not…

A. Hungry

B. Sleep deprived

C. Stressed

D. In the hallucinatory “writing zone” caused by the above things

E. Sad

F. Substituting your need to knit with an absolute imperative need to replace your rather tatty comforter that your husband never liked anyway with whatever new thing they have in Target that is the opposite of that.

Why?

Because you might– just might, mind you, not that I have any empirical truth of this–walk out with five bags of Milano cookies and 3 lbs. of M&Ms.

Okay.

I lied.

I might have some empirical truth of this.

but I’m working on eliminating the evidence as quickly as possible.