Believe it or not…

Okay–my internet time is on a serious downswing here… and, seeing as this is a knitting blog, you’ll never guess the cause.

Yup. I’ve been KNITTING. (Or crocheting, as the case may be.) I know this may shock some of you… it shocks me. The simple fact is, that in spite of a sort of weirdo dissociative malfunction in my brain, you know that one that completely denies that Christmas is less than a week away? Anyway, in spite of this, and in spite of the fact that I’ve got grades happening (more about that later) and shopping to do (brother, do I!) and insane short people to take to Santa, in spite of all of this…

I’ve allowed IT to happen.

You all know what IT is–anyone who’s followed the Harlot understands IT. IT is the driving need to, in spite of time constraints, budget constraints, and the fact that everybody you know and love has been gifted with wooly love sometime in the last two years, knit more Christmas gifts in a week than you’ve knitted in the entire past two months.

IT is insanity. Now, I have, in the past, been shanghaied by IT, and I swore I wasn’t going to let IT even walk through the door this year. I had it nailed–I still do. Sort of. I was going to knit for my real mom’s family. They like everything I knit, think I’m a genius because I knit socks, love new scarves and accessories and are basically poster children for ‘appreciative recipient’. I once sat outside in the car because the Cave Troll fell asleep as we arrived at the family’s house for Christmas, and my aunt got all excited because she thought I MUST be in the car because I was knitting something for HER. (Since I WAS knitting, and I DID finish, and the gift didn’t have a home yet, once Mate told me what she said, it turned out she was right.) So basically, all of the Chaney women were getting knit wear–random knitwear. I’d been working on it since October, I had a couple of pairs of socks a couple of fingerless mitts, a couple of scarves–hell. I even had a scarf for the babysitter, cooked up on a whim. I liked it.

And then I saw them. Three really loud Christmas themed dishtowels for five dollars. (Imagine bright lights shining from above…’aaaaaaaaaaaa’) And suddenly, I had a vision. A vision of this really tacky red and silver acrylic that had been floating around the house for a year and all of the craft shows I had been to, and… (you know where this is going, don’t you?) Yup. Those crocheted towel toppers. I absolutely had to make them.

And so I did.

And then I had to make potholders to match. And so I am. And then… and then…

And then I had it. The ultimate IT epiphany. It happened when the Cave Troll stole my glubs, and I thought, “I need to make some glubs for the Cave Troll and Ladybug!” And (bright lights, holy music…”aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh”) I had suddenly planned two pairs of glubs that must (MUST I say, absolutely MUST) be peering out at them on the top of the Christmas stockings.

Uh-oh. I’ve done this before. I’ve stayed up until four a.m. knitting or crocheting something that seemed like a REALLY good idea but that really wasn’t as beloved as I thought it should be. I’ve crocheted until my wrist felt like it would fall off, I’ve glue-gunned my fingers to the iron skillet of hell, I’ve… I’ve…

I’ve only got a week, but I’m SURE I can make it.

Oh fuck. I’m doomed.

(*I’ll bitch about grades on Friday, if I’m still as pissed as I am right now. Right now, it’s probably a good thing that I blogged about IT, because if I blogged about the kid who put his name on two other people’s assignments–one that he’d stolen from the portfolio stack–and then tried to pass them off as his own, I’d have to throw the computer through a wall, and that would really hurt me more than it would hurt the kid. Unless his head was in the way–and that’s tempting too!!!)

0 thoughts on “Believe it or not…”

  1. Louiz says:

    good luck with IT, I have been slightly hijacked by IT too this year, despite my rules….

    And the grading thing sounds like, well, the complete opposite of IT:(

  2. Donna Lee says:

    I made a valiant effort against IT and am fighting as we speak. I made some socks, some facecloths and am contemplating a scarf. No, I’m really not contemplating it, it’s halfway done but it was not intended to be a gift. I don’t want to play this game! Make it stop! I don’t have time to make any more gifts (I just started the shopping…and no baking as happened)

  3. Julie says:

    Thank you. “Oh fuck. I’m doomed.” is the best summary of my feelings this holiday that I’ve seen yet. Excellent way with words.

    And, hell, it’s not like anyone’s ever said NO when we gave them gifts in January, right?

  4. Galad says:

    I got hijacked by IT this year and realized this morning (even before reading your blog) that I’m not going to make it by Christmas.

    I should have known. I’ve done crafting of various types for years. I’ve over committed and glued my fingers with hot melt at 4 AM and swore never to do it again.

    I’ll be thinking of you as we race to the big finish!

  5. roxie says:

    IT has taken me over, too. Hats for everyone at my favorite breakfast place, all by Saturday. Madness!!
    You’re in good company, my dear.

    Acryllic potholders? Melty plastic. Call them hotpads and keep them away from the stove.

  6. Not to brag.. (Okay, I am.) Knitting it done*. Christmas cards and presents are mailed!!

    * Yea, like washclothes are terribly difficult to knit….

  7. TinkingBell says:

    Ive been ignoring the siren call of IT (although I’m stealth knitting a Dougal and finding myself thinking – I could probably do an Otto by christmas – I couldn’t!

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