Crunchy, chewy, or extra crispy?

How would you like your air quality today?

A railroad trestle in our area went up in a spectacular conflagration yesterday–the news footage was truly arresting–it was like a little slice of hell had opened up in an inter-dimensional rift and we could see into the heart of chaos. The result this morning was that as I was driving into work I could see a big black cloud of creosote-smoke spreading over the value like the cloak of Satan himself.

Fucker. I hope the devil enjoys himself today, because if I see him in person I’m going to sneeze all over him and cover him in snot-covered kleenex.

In other news tonight… Mate (we finally had a moment of zen…if that’s what they’re calling it these days…) has fixed me up with a phone…it’s very cool. In fact, it’s way too cool for me. I will have to have one of my students fix it up so that it is less boring and old, because right now, I look at it like you’d look at the control panel of an alien space ship–I’m supposed to press what? Really? It’ll do that? Get OUT! No, seriously, get out of the freaking space ship because if I have to run this thing it’ll crash like my fucking work computer–I know these things don’t like me and that’s a fact.

Did I give Haylo a shout out last time? No? I should have–I went to her profile page, and although she hasn’t blogged yet–she needs to. For one thing there is a perfectly adorable picture of a little one that I assume is hers on the profile page and since I’m blogging from work w/o pictures, we need more cute kid pictures to sate our jones… let’s see the adorable little ones–I personally live for that!!!

And I may go home tonight and post a picture that shows that Sekhmet and Dennis Quaid my cat are in cahoots to take over the world. It’s only a matter of time and the right kibble…

Oh…one more Kewynism–

I was driving home yesterday, and as, per ritual, we stopped at McDonalds (they know my order now–one milk, for mom, one chocolate milk–with a straw–for Cave Troll, one diet coke, for mom, and a happy meal toy–for Cave Troll AND Ladybug. Occasionally there’s some cookies or a snack wrap.) When Cave Troll hasn’t eaten yet (he’s usually had dinner by 4:30) I’ll get him some fries to tide him over for dinner–but that doesn’t happen very often.

Apparently it should have happened yesterday.

“Mama…where’s my fries?”

“I didn’t get you any fries, sweetie–we’re going home to dinner.”

“Whhhhyyyyyy mama…why….whhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyy mama…no fries…no frrrrrrriiiiiiiiieeeesssss…..”

Needless to say, I practically cut across four lanes of traffic to get off the freeway and get to the next McD’s to get the poor little waif his fries… wait, wait…actually, I just stopped at the next one I saw at the way home, but either way, it was the heartrending “Whhhhhhhyyyyyyyy no FRRRRIIIIIIIIEEEEESSSSSS” that ’bout killed me. What kind of parent am I, anyway? (According to the zeitgeist of public service announcements, apparently I’m a sucky one who stops at McDonalds every day. Sorry. I apologize for spreading my fat to my offspring. So sorry. Forgive me.)

Anyway–“Why no fries”–add it to your Cave Troll posters, people…it was priceless.

0 thoughts on “Crunchy, chewy, or extra crispy?”

  1. Rae says:

    Blech on the air! That sounds miserable, though I love the idea of cooling off Satan with your snot. Nice.

    And speaking of fast food, well, I was one of those hoity-toity gym rats who said I would never give my kid fast food. I’m proud that she still eats good stuff — veggies, tofu, etc — but let’s face it, there’s no avoiding the other stuff. Just last night in the span of five minutes she said

    “Mommy, I want chicken fingers tonight.”
    “Mommy, I want french fries tonight.” (more like fwench fwies)
    “Mommy, I want pizza tonight.”
    “Mommy, I want jello tonight.”
    “Mommy, I want ice cream tonight.”
    “Mommy, I want …” you get the picture.

  2. Julie says:

    ‘S okay. We feed our kid actual FOOD from McD’s. Hamburgers and stuff. (Though it’s not really meat, so does it count?)

    I had a meltdown and screamed at my kid today for not walking. At the moment she’s watching the Backyardigans, giggling and dancing.

    We’ve scarred both these kids for life. It’s obvious.

  3. Cave Troll is going to take over the world some day!
    And boo on the air here. It sucks.

  4. Catie says:

    I love the Cave Troll-isms.

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