Dogs in the Corner

Me: Geoffie! Johnnie!  You’re driving me crazy! What do you have to say for yourselves?

Geoffie:  But… but there was NO WALKIES!

Me: There was SOME walkies–

Johnnie: There was TOO MANY walkies!

Me: It was a quarter of a mile, Johnnie.

Johnnie: Magic sky water. Did you forget the magic sky water? You went INTO THE DELUGE of magic sky water, and the house was RIGHT THERE? I was all, “What’re you doing, mom, the house is RIGHT THERE!” but no, you had to walk into the magic sky water.

Me: You needed a walk.

Johnnie: It made the poop go back up.

Me: That’s not what the bottom of my shoes say!

Johnnie: I kept it in just for them. See? Saved you a step.

Me: You’re very smart.  Geoffie!

Geoffie: Snacks?

Me: No.

Geoffie: SNACKS!

Me: Really?

Geoffie: There were NO butt cookies– gimme snacks.

Me: Fine.

Geoffie: Snacks?

Me: Fine.

Geoffie: Snacks?

Me: This is your last one.

Geoffie: Snacks? Snacks? Snacks? Snacks? Snacks?

Me: NO! Man, knock it off– go to your corner.

Geoffie: Corner? Where corner? Wait! Watch me do–

Me: No no no no–

Geoffie: But he makes the best–

Me: No no no no no–

Dogs: Rawr bite yip run twirl

Me: Assholes!

Dogs: Rawr bite yip run twirl

Me: Assholes!

Dogs: Rawr bite yip run twirl

Me: ASSHOLES! STOP IT!  Now apologize.

Johnnie: I’m sorry, i should be dead.

Me: No, no– not like that. Just tell Geoffie you’re sorry.

Johnnie: I’m sorry I threw you into the wall, but you shouldn’t have bit my penis.

Me: Geoffie, did you hear that?

Geoffie: Did you hear? Did you hear the sound he made when I bit his penis?

Me: I don’t want to talk about–

Geoffie: It was like Snoopy getting tagged in the BALLS, man! Snoopy! Balls! Auuuuughhhh!!! It was GREAT! I’m going to bite his penis again!

Me: NO!

Geoffie: Hold me!

Me: No!

Geoffie: Walkies?

Me: It’s eleven at night.

Geoffie: Walkies?

Johnnie: Walkies?

Me: Magic sky water, assholes, remember?

Geoffie: Want me to bite your penis again, Jonnie?

Johnnie: Yeah, sure, that was fun!

Dogs: rawr bite yip twirl

Me: *sigh* I’m so glad it’s raining again, but tomorrow, we get walkies, and that is a good thing too…