Engineer Meet Dorkfish

I am working on a “shawl”– a shawl that’s 80 inches long and 13 inches deep, so, it’s more like a scarf. I tell Mate, “I was thinking I would work an extra twenty-two rows so this shawl could have more depth but–“

Mate: So the shawl could have more what?

Me: You know, depth?

Mate: Is it in three dimensions?

Me: It’s eighty inches wide–

Mate: So it’s thirteen inches long?

Me: But it’s down your back– that’s depth.

Mate: I’m still trying to wrap my brain around this. Depth is… a box. Are you knitting a box?

Me: I’m knitting a shawl– see? It’s got width–

Mate: Length.

Me: No, its width. You know. Wingspan. *I flap my arms*

Mate *loses shit*: Wingspan!

Me: Yes! Wingspan! Anyway, it’s got wingspan, and depth!

Mate: I’m an engineer! You calculate length and width and get area.

Me: I know this.

Mate: If you add depth, you get volume.

Me: This shawl has very little volume.

Mate: You’re killing me here!

Me: You’re missing the point!

Mate: You don’t have enough “depth” to your shawl?

Me: I don’t have enough YARN to give it depth.

Mate: Yeah, you’re right–I’m completely missing the point.

Me: It doesn’t have enough depth.

Mate: Math… *flails* You can’t just re-knit math!

Me: *huffs*  Well *I* can.

Mate: *loses more shit*  Sure. You can give a shawl depth.

Me: Just not this shawl.

Mate: Because you don’t have enough yarn.

Me: Nevermind.

— And this blog was in celebration of Ravelry. Thanks guys, for making your site a no hate zone, and not pretending you can do nothing about it. Free speech is NOT the right to bully, and we need more people to make that policy. You’re the greatest.

Amy