I am trying to turn the television off. That’s it. Just off.
Mate: Okay, so take that one–the red one–and go all the way to the right.
Mate: Now click the power off button.
Mate: Now the other remote–
Me: I can get it from here.
Mate: Well you seem to have trouble–
Me: There are five different machines to make this happen. What in the hell– you people take a simple device and make five different–
Mate: My people?
Me: Men. This is men. This is without a doubt, MEN. YOU PEOPLE take a simple idea–an elegant idea–like the television–
Mate: Wait, five?
Me: Yes five.
Mate: Five machines.
Me: Yes five machines. There are five machines involved here.
Mate: What in the–
Me: There’s the PS4–
Mate: It isn’t even on!
Me: WELL THEN WHY DID I HAVE TO USE THE REMOTE?
Me: So there’s the PS4, there’s the whatever other box that is, there’s the red remote, there’s the black remote and there’s the television–
Mate: YOU’RE COUNTING THE TELEVISION?
Me: The television started it.
Mate: So a laptop is three devices?
Me: It’s one. It is self-contained.
Mate: Unless it’s a keyboard attached to a dongle.
Me: THAT is not my idea. You did that. You attached things to my computer and said, “Well, where. This is what you should do.” But I’ve taken it other places–it’s really very self sufficient without the two dongles and the keyboard and the mouse.
Mate: But those things help you.
Me: But they’re complicated.
Mate: You’re awful.
Me: Want a remote?
Me: WHICH ONE??????
Mate: You’re still awful.
Me: Fine. I’m awful. Go count your technology bits. It will make you feel better about my awfulness. They’re hanging out all over the place.
Mate. Fine. Just remember–turn on the box, and the TV, and the X-Box.
Me: I’m going to go type on my keyboard attached to my dongle attached to my laptop. Because THAT I understand.