Festering Butt Pearls

Hmmm… so much good stuff, so little time. First of all, I apologize to anyone if you get a double dose of something between FB and Twitter–I do try to add to the sound bites in the blog, but, yeah, one person living a very average life does not much blog fodder generate.

But jeez can I talk about not much at all!

So…

*  I hope you all like the new look. Someone complained about the old background, and while it was nicely branded, I couldn’t get the tiles to NOT tile on the phone display and it was apparently driving some people batshit. This looks a little cleaner, and that’s nice. The picture was one I took of the yarn truck–go me!

*  Yes, I HAVE taken to walking at the nearby park in an effort to avoid the Crazy Twat of the previous blog post. On the one hand, I feel a little cowardly– see Amy run. On the other hand, I feel a little mature– see Amy not provoke a confrontation, not be a white trash scotswoman with an axe, and not risk said Crazy Twat getting her gun, because she seemed like gun people and she was NOT rational. So I’m going to go with “mature” and enjoy the park and hope I can get in longer walks by using the novelty value of walking someplace new.

*  Speaking of longer walks… I may have mentioned that the walkways of the park leave the park and go through residential neighborhoods.  So, I did this, left the park and came out in a neighborhood, and I thought that the road that connected with the one in front of the park was just a little way off. Well, a little way off, I was lost. I could either retrace my steps or I could keep going. So I pulled out my phone with every intention of asking it where the fuck am I, and it gave me the route to my parked car–and the distance, .8 miles.

I’ve never been so impressed with my phone.

*  ZoomBoy saw a YouTube video about whales and ambergris. SOUNDS tame, but from now on I think we won’t be calling the dogs “assholes”.  Instead, we’ll be calling them “festering butt pearls.”  Because it sounds more like them I guess? And because ZoomBoy is right–SOUNDS hilarious.

*  Demonstrating the family’s natural sarcasm, we have Squish.

“So, Squish, how do you want your hair today?”

“Well, we have a braid, a braid, a ponytail, a ponytail WITH a braid, a half braid, and a braid.”

“Don’t forget the sarcasm for product. So which one will you be going with?”

“I’ll go with ‘and braid’.”

“Excellent choice!”

*  We took Steve to the vets today.  The fun part was picking her up. They always tell us, “Now first give her some water,then, if she keeps that down, you can give her a teeny bit of soft food, and then, if she keeps that down, you can feed her all the way.”

I was laughing before she was done with the sentence. “Okay, so last time I was totally going to do this. Then we opened the carrier, she leapt up on the kitchen table, bullied the cat down who was already there, and ate all his food. Then she knocked the bowl over and bitched loudly for more for the next half hour before I fed her again.  I, uh, think she does okay out of the anesthetic.”

Indeed.

* Speaking of Squishy, she reorganized the books on the end table–she did such a job, she even checked to make sure their spines were all sticking the same way. So much like her father–makes me proud.

*  Also, Geoffie got groomed today and they used some sort of vanilla scented shampoo on her. So she got back and not only was she the world’s cutest dog, SHE SMELLED LIKE COOKIES!!!

I was literally at her mercy–that dog could do anything.

And then a reader (Jason–you know who you are!) suggested that maybe I kept the little dog beard because it helped her look like Mate.

Well… it might explain my helpless fascination for the little goombah. Right?