For my money, you really can’t have too much of that sort of thing…

Okay, it’s 12:03 and I’m shirking my fiction time to blog–and can I just say what a sorry state of affairs it is when I’m doing this at 12:03 in the freaking morning? Anyway, I’m free of two of my classes, and I couldn’t be happier. My friend Barb and I got together today and discussed the total and complete pile of steaming purple yakshit that is continuing education for educators, and one thing became clear to me: I know why I’m taking my CLAD classes.

I mean, it may seem that I’m taking them so they don’t fire me when they get around to it…and that would partially be true.

But mostly, I’m taking these dumbass bullshit classes so eventually I’ll get off my fat ass and transfer to the other school in the district. Not because I have starry eyed dreams of my life freaking improving when i get there, but because all of my friends have fled the bastarzilla that is our own personal vainglorious prickweenie and now it’s me, the Lady in Red, and our other buddy three doors down from her…and that’s it. All the really cool people have fled, and only the bitter remain. If I have my CLAD, I have enough seniority to kick people out of my way who want the same job. That’s it, I’m nobody’s victim, I’m kicking ass and taking names.

I didn’t realize what an ass-kicking mood I was in either, until yesterday–after you all assured me that I wasn’t a horrible person I went on amazon.com discussion forums, and Mary Janice Davidson had posted–she very cheerfully put in a shameless plug for her light-weight, goofy series that my step-mother, at least, thinks is way better than my own books on a discussion forum for Intelligent Vampire Books.

And then some total asshole fuckheaded bastardzilla prickweenie manky git bugger posted, the following, and I fought back. Here–I’ve got the script here:

M. Witte says:
I mean no disrespect to Ms. Davidson as an author, but I did not care for the Undead and Unwed book. I thought the heroine was a self centered whiner who only cared about her designer shoes. Sorry.

Amy Lane
Wow–and you couldn’t have kept that to yourself, knowing the author was trolling the site? At least Betsy doesn’t deliberately hurt people who have done nothing to her…which makes that ‘self-centered whiner’ a better character morally than the ‘take-no-prisoners critic’. I’m so OVER this whole ‘it’s cool to be cruel’ thing…Yes, we all know it’s easier to say something snarky and cute than it is to say something constructive, but you don’t have to advertise your lack of ambition to the world.

Whew…

But that last bit aside, there have been a lot of good suggestions here–I had no idea what sort of depth this genre had achieved. (It goes a lot deeper than Laurell K., that’s for certain.) Guidelines

M. Witte says:
If one goes to a resturant, orders an entree, and it tastes bad, one complains to the waiter/cook, correct?

As mentioned, no disrepect was intended. I was talking about a character in a book (make believe person), not the author.

Amy Lane
M. Witte–Actually, all you had to say was, “I’m really not a fan of Ms. Davidson’s books–the heroine rubbed me the wrong way. But I do have another recommendation.” As an author, that’s an acceptable criticism. I stand by what I said–you were being unnecessarily cruel because you could. If you want to prove me wrong, make a rec and add to the discussion.

and Diane, I also love Tanya Huff’s books–the ‘Smoke’ offshoot, that features Tony is probably my favorite of the Henry Fitzroy set.

And I still think Kim Harrison rocks. If you like gore (lots of it) and the seriously funky, nasty, mean sort of intelligent vampire, P.C. Cacek’s heroine fits the bill. Not my cup of tea, personally, but I’ve seen that a lot of people adore her.

So, yeah–I overreacted. And I’m not sorry. In fact, I was so not sorry that I went and ordered my years supply of snarky T-shirts from Zazzle– they had the following sayings on them:

(front) Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.
(back) It seems I can’t contain my joy.

(front only) Every time a kid takes a bubble test, a fairie dies.

(front only) Go ahead–mock my knitting. But remember, I’m the one with the pointy sticks.

I really must be ready to go back to work and beat up some meat-juniors, you think? Good. I will not repeat last year, I won’t I won’t I won’t.

Oh yeah–and as for the pictures? Well, for my money, you really can’t have too much of that sort of thing…