Free verse? Show some Whit, man!

Me to Chicken: Do you like my new favorite meme?

Chicken: What does it even mean?

Me: Who cares! It’s ADORABLE!

* * *

Mate,  looking through the cupboards this morning: You did a bad bad thing!

Me: What? Wha’d I do?

Mate: You bought bad things!

Me: (looking at the four boxes of Oreos) Well, you know. Four kids, two grown, no school for a week…

Mate: (flicking me on the head) Well I’m sure all they’ll eat now is Oreos!

Me: Well I also bought acres of fruits and veggies. (I am very self-righteous as I say this.)

Mate: Which I”m positive they’ll eat instead of Oreos!

* * *

We picked Zoomboy up from his school Yosemite trip the other night. Imagine thirty unwashed eleven- year-olds wandering around grabbing their gear and trying to reconnect with all their parents. In short… chaos.

But it did feature this one moment:

Zoomboy, grabbing my arm and looking into my eyes with all earnestness: And we saw a bobcat and we hiked to Vernal Falls and now you know I can hike a long way because we kept going and going and going…

Towheaded kid I don’t know, grabbing my arm as ZB is speaking: And we did–we hiked all the way to the top of the falls, and it was wonderful and it was six and a half miles and we did it– we had so much fun and–

Zoomboy: And we had to hide our stuff from the bears and we used the heater in the cabin so I didn’t need my long underwear and…

Me, watching the towheaded kid wander off to find his parents: Was that your friend?

Zoomboy: Yes. We hiked together in the woods. And we didn’t see any bears even though we had to hide our stuff from the bears and the thing on my wrist was so I could eat and…

Me: So when’s the last time you bathed?

Zoomboy: Uhm…

Me: Let’s say it’s tonight!

On a general note, I’m saying the money for sending them on a “character building trip”was money well spent. He is even more of a character now than he was when he left.

And that towheaded kid ain’t bad either.

*  *  *

Big T: The little kids and I have a plan. We’re going to watch The Breakfast Club.

Me: Penguins of Madagascar? Peabody and Sherman?

Big T: (laughing) Well, yeah. Those look good too, but I think they’ll like The Breakfast Club. 

Me: Okay. The minute their eyes glaze over, you go ahead and put this in. Trust me. It’ll go over better.

As it turns out, Mate and I sat down with Big T and watched Breakfast Club, while the little kids cleaned their rooms. Which meant that we saved them the opportunity to be cynical and hate their elders at too young an age. Go us!

*  *  *

Mate: You were good– you wrote, you did laundry, you went shopping and cooked. I spent the morning watching… God. I can’t even remember what I watched…

Me: That’s because it was White House Down!

Mate: Heh heh heh… oh yeah. Yeah. Who wants to remember that?

Me: And yet, you keep watching it.

Mate: Shit goes boom.

Me: Of course.

* * *

And the cartoons of Crowley and Azraphel from Good Omens? Those are Chicken’s work. She also designed my new avatar (which, alas, is temporary) so if anyone is interested in purchasing an avatar or art work from her, by all means visit THIS LINK.  And besides her own art, she also publishes VERY funny .gifs and art from friends 🙂 

0 thoughts on “Free verse? Show some Whit, man!”

  1. Unknown says:

    Yep…Find the movies where "shit goes boom" and leave the males of our species in front of the screen. I think I could re-sheetrock the entire hallway uninterrupted…probably tape & float it, too. Only the paint fumes would possibly provide a distraction, and then only for a little while. Yep. Movies of massive destruction are a Thrice Goddess Blessed gift that just keeps on giving. 🙂

  2. Donna Lee says:

    "shit goes boom" and "there were breasts….". That's all it takes over here.

    And so we watch All the Explosions over and over.

    Oreos beat vegetables every time (but you know that)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *