Funky…

Funky fingers, funky toes
See that funky little nose
Funky smile like a funky ham
He’s my little funky man
Funky hands and funky feet
My funky man just can’t be beat
Funky knees and funky eyes
He’s my funky little guy
Funky dimples, funky chin,
Dig that funky little grin
Funky does what funky can
Keep rockin’ on, my funky man…

Now see, nobody’s ever asked me where Funky Man came from in BOUND… the truth is, that Kewyn got out of the car once after having eaten a chocolate chip cookie, and he was dirty from his toes to his nose…I started rhyming, “dirty feet, dirty hands, he’s my dirty little man” but then I started having visions of my baby in a trenchcoat w/nothing else, so I changed to ‘funky’ and I liked the rhyme so much I kept cycling it in my head…and then Funky Man became a full fledged giant, bereft PERSON in BOUND…Now see…that’s one of the cool things about playing Goddess w/the detritus of your own synapses, you think?

Anyway, I’m thinking ‘funky’ today, because it’s a weird, overcast, windy, FUNKY kinda day, where the air is the color of a dirty sidewalk and the trees look like warrior’s of wholesomeness against the total funk-assedness of the day. It’s also funky because funky things have been happening today…

Lessee…first of all? I had to bring the little ones to the dentist with me today…was that not fun? Why, no, now that you mention it, it was not…it was in fact…fun-ky! They were pretty good–in fact, the actual dentist was gone, and I was the only patient…the two receptionists were totally charmed and my hygienist was an absolute darling…she let me hold Ladybug while she was cleaning my teeth! Anyone who can hurt me that little when I haven’t flossed in that long while a little person is wriggling the chair like mad deserves some sort of award. Then, when Ladybug saw me getting the tooth polish, she wanted some–the hygenist asked my permission of course, but after she had one little tooth glossed over, she smiled wide and said, “me me me…” I mean–can you think of anything funkier than a baby who wants to go to the dentist?

After that we stopped for a Squishee at 7-11 Have you guys heard of that promotion? They changed the name, the cup, and the straws, and now you can get Homer Simpson’s Squishee instead of their normal I-Cee… it’s really pretty awesome. Apparently they’re converting 12 7-11’s over the country into full blown Simpson’s Qwik-E Marts…People really are nutsy-cuckoo, aren’t they?

We got home, and I opened the refrigerator and couldn’t figure out what all this food was doing in there–then it hit me: Chicken and T are camping with grandma–and hopefully eating her out of house and home, because this is our week off. It really was a shock to see how much food we DIDN’T eat when they aren’t eating it!!! We’ve saved $10 in milk alone.

The little ones, having no older siblings to annoy, actually went into their OWN room to destroy IT instead of MINE, and then, the funkiest thing happened. Right before the end of school, my work keys disappeared–you know, because the year hadn’t been shit enough, the emu of lost keys had to go and crap on my head. Anyway–I was sure they were in the bottom of the toy chest in the front room–well, I was half right. They were in the toy chest in the kids room…the last room in the house to ever get cleaned. It’s too bad they already re-keyed my room, ain’t it?

And, to make things even weirder? The Cave Troll doesn’t want to play outside…I mean that’s a first…and I think Ladybug is going to bed at six o-clock tonight…she’s just that tired.

So, you see what I mean? Funky…some days are just like that… but then sometimes funky ain’t all bad.