“No, I don’t know where Spiderman is…where did you put him last? Sweetie put it down…no, down, no, give it…give…it…to…mama…no, don’t lay on the floor and cry…no, I told you, I don’t know where Spiderman is…well, where did you put him? Is he where you found Chicken Joe? HEY, IS SOMEBODY BURNING ENLISH MUFFINS OUT THERE? No, I don’t know why she’s making that noise. DON’T TOUCH THE COMPUTER, DAMMIT, I HAVEN’T SAVED!!! No, you can’t have the toothpaste either…put it down…no…give it to mama…no, no, give…it…to…mama…wow. Acting. Who knew it ran in the family? No–don’t worry, she’s fine. She’s just making that noise. CAN SOMEBODY GET HER A DIAPER? No, I don’t know where Spiderman is. Go get a diaper. What do you mean no? You can’t run around naked all day. It’s seventy degrees out–no, no pool yet. And I’m not out there. Well, I’m not out there because you people won’t let me finish. No, no, Ladybug, get up off the floor…ewww…is that a hairball stuck to your diaper? HAS ANYONE LET OUT THE DOG! Give her back her kitty! Yes, that’s nice…kitty is nice…now toddle off…no, no, go on out the door…oh, good. You found a diaper. That’s great. Now put it on. Yes, darling, that’s why they’re called pull-ups. Now…no, no, don’t sit on my lap…not HEEEERRE…get..no, get DOWN… and you, get off the floor…AND PUT THAT DOWN.
ALL RIGHT THAT’S IT! EVERYBODY GET THE HELL OUT OF THE BATHROOM, MAMA’S GOTTA FLUSH!”
And how was your morning?
