Half-Assed Hash

I actually made a dish we called ‘Half-assed hash this weekend’– and since today is going to be totally random, I thought I’d start off with the recipe.

*** Half-Assed Hash:

Ingredients: 1 bag of frozen tater tots, 1 small bag of shredded cheese, 6-8 hot dogs or smoked sausages, chopped up.

Brown the tater-tots on a cookie sheet, throw them onto a skillet with hot-dog pieces and bag of cheese. Stir until it is unrecognizable. Serves six, barely, with some help from other shit from the fridge.

Peoples, white trash ain’t an income, it’s a state of mind–and anyone on a diet should run now and jump on a scale. Odds are good you gained three pounds just from reading that list of ingredients.


Ladybug got a hold of a an entire cup of chicken bullion cubes tonight while she was in the bathtub. She wasn’t just bathing, she was marinating.


Ladybug has discovered that not only does she have a voice, she can boss us around. She will crawl into my lap and give me orders, like ‘Feed me,” “Watch la la la”, or “Tickle me”. Most of the time we do what she says–it’s sort of the same thing we do with the cats. If we don’t do what they want, they will sit on our face and whine until we do.

***Cave Troll

The Cave Troll has been going to Kindergarten. Every day, he comes home, and we ask him about school. Everyday he gives us the potato face, and we can only tell from minute changes in his behavior (a willingness to read, for example, or the ability to count to 20) that he is not actually watching television for four hours on the government’s dime. Today, Big T asked him for the umpteenth time, “How was school, Cave Troll.”

“Would you stop saying that?” Came the response. Apparently, in this case, silence is support.

***Big T

We were watching the last hour of LotR:RotK the other day, and Big T was holding Ladybug. He likes to lecture during movies–probably because I’ve been explaining them to him since he was very small–and he was lecturing to her for twenty-minutes straight. Until I realized that she hadn’t been saying a word in her defense. It was because he’d bored her to sleep. It’s that English Teacher gene–what can I say?


Keeps threatening to tell her friends that I write gay porn for a living. Little shit.


Brushed his teeth for no other reason than to kiss me goodnight. I’ll keep him.

***Book News

Thanks, Kenda!!!!
People really seem to like it!!!!
And Roxie, it’s on it’s way!!!!
And this is where I’m going to be signing books in a couple of weeks, providing iUniverse gets it’s ass in gear and sends me some FUCKING BOOKS!!!!!

Okay now–Bitter Moon II is going to Roxie, coming back to me, and then going out to Bonnie. Holy Goddess, Merciful God, let it not suck.

*whew* And that’s all folks!

0 thoughts on “Half-Assed Hash”

  1. OMG!! Chicken is soo funny.

    BTW, I went and read quite a bit of your novella, it was good.

  2. Donna Lee says:

    Our favorite white trash meal? Kraft mac and cheese with ground beef in it. For some reason the girls and I love it. Pk hates it so we use any opportunity when he won’t be home for dinner to indulge. When I think about it (which I try really hard not to do), it’s almost criminal but we like it so it stays.

  3. Louiz says:

    Marinated Ladybug! lol.

  4. roxie says:

    Bluebox mac-n-cheese with cut up hotdogs and frozen broccolli. Jello half set and blended with coolwhip. Ritz crackers with canned squeezy cheese. Raw cookie dough straight out of the refrigerator roll. I understand why dogs eat garbage. Some garbage tastes GOOD!

    Love the kid stories. Putting littles to sleep is a gift. Yay for Big T! Ladybug in broth. A bit salty, perhaps . . . Saucy Chicken! Good Mate!!
    Cave Troll still processing no doubt.

  5. Galad says:

    I think dinner at your house sounds good. My favorite kind of comfort food 🙂

    While the all the kid stories were funny, I can’t idea of marinated Ladybug out of my head. Did all the animals want to lay with her after her bath?

  6. TinkingBell says:

    Hahaha – ROFLMAO!!!
    When we were renovating the kitchen and all I had was a microwave I found a recipe for Impossible cheeseburger pie – its crap but everyone in the house likes it!

    The other one is hamburger mince and all sorts of stuff fromthe fridge plus a tin or tomatoes – called Train smash!
    BTW – I love your kids!

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