Help me, I need a kid-ectomy!

Ugh! The fevers have about broken, but they have left, in their wake, two whining, sniveling, clinging snot-balls who bear little resemblance to my usually self-sufficient children.

They’re going to have to stay home again tomorrow, and me with them.

And the danger here isn’t that my ass is going to grow to epic proportions from serving as a sort of moveable recliner for the two phlegm-wads, (although, truthfully, there is a danger of that!) or even that I’ll throttle the next person who whines ‘no no no no mama…want mama… while pawing me with sticky, germ-infested fingers (because they’re just so sad…it’d be like drop-kicking a sick fish!) The danger isn’t that they’d rather stab me in the eyes with my own dpns before giving me time to knit or that the clutter that’s accruing in the house is going to topple and drown us all in mountain height crap or that Ladybug will angst herself to a mucus puddle in heart-covered sweats. No, no, although all those things are possible, those things aren’t my biggest fears in this situation.

My biggest fear is that I don’t want to go back.

I’ve been pretty conscientious about sending my colleagues lesson plans (movie lesson plans with a paper at the end, but lesson plans) to put on my desk. I even asked the last sub to call me–Hah!–so I could assess the hurricane class damage that the little bastards have imparted on my room as I’ve been gone. I’ve made noises about missing the autonomy of things like visiting the bathroom on a bell schedule and taking student’s hands and walking them through a paper about the American Romantic hero that you practically write yourself, but the fact is…

I could get used to this. No, not the psychotically attached snot-wadded-mucus-balls, but I could get used to being at home. The floor, while not clean, is cleaner than it’s been in a month. I’ve read stories, I’ve sang songs, and I just finished playing light sabers with a little kid who’s gonna have homework in less than a year.

I could get used to being at home with them. I always knew it was possible. I even wished, sometimes, that it was real. But after this week in February, I think I’m finally grown-up enough to be a housewife and stay-at-home-mom.

Too bad it’s not an option I have anymore. *sigh* Gotta go now…mucus-melt down in room two…

0 thoughts on “Help me, I need a kid-ectomy!”

  1. TinkingBell says:

    It is great (though there are days when it really palls and you’d be happy to swap any numbers of kids for a puppy (or George Clooney and a jet setting lifestyle) But mostly it’s great. But what’s greater is actually being able to choose – and some people don’t get that! I’m worried I won’t ever want to go back to ‘real’ work – but I’d like to be at home and working – I gotta find stuff I can do to justify the amount of time and money I spend blogging and knitting!

  2. Galad says:

    I stayed home for 11 years with my kids working very part time as they got older to help keep me from going totally bonkers. It was great to have the option to stay home, though there were times I felt like my brain had rusted over. I’m glad you are getting a taste of being home even if it came with lots of whining, phlegm and melt downs 🙂

  3. Em says:

    My biggest secret is that, when I finally get back into and then out of (with two or three degrees this time) school, I think I may want to get married, have children, and work from home so as to stay with said children. The whole keeping house and raising some babies thing sounds pretty neat to me. I’m glad you got a chance to do it on a part-time basis this month, for your sake and for the snot balls’.

  4. Louiz says:

    Hope the snotballs are better, and I know exactly what you mean about staying at home!

  5. The nice thing about staying away from work for a while is forgetting the 10 million passwords. Then spending half the day trying to get caught up.

    Hope the kiddos are feeling better. Besides, if you really wanted to stay home, you could… after all, you’re a famous writer.

  6. roxie says:

    ” . . like kicking a sick fish.” Omigawd you have a way with words! At least the kids are being phlemish simultaneously, rather than consecutively. You’ll go back to work. Teaching is an addiction. If you’re gonna do it, you may as well get paid. Hope the little snotballs perk up so that you can enjoy your weekend.

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