A. Be nobody and have your own book signing. (Yay!)
B. Bring Big T and Chicken on day two and have all your friends show up! (YAY!!!)
C. And no one else. (Awwwww….)
D. But tour the convention center anyway! (YAY!)
E. And have one of your most irrepressible friends and her adorable, buoyant, happy mother go chat you up to a celebrity– Erin Gray and then have you give a copy of your latest release (Bitter Moon I) to said celebrity. (*swoon*)
F. Run into, bump into, walk over, amazing, talented or famous people at probably every turn, including Doug Jones, Richard Hatch and Eric Goldberg . ( Eric Goldberg, btw, was the coolest, shyest little gentleman–he drew the Genie for T when we bought his book, and when Chicken went “Mooooooommmmmm! Why didn’t you have him draw Marvin the Martian, he very graciously added them both. Nice guy. Has brought awe and joy to millions of people. You’d think that sort of magic grew on trees, our city was so cavalier about his presence, but I got to meet him so it’s all good. )
G. Did I mention running into people? Yes. LITERALLY, in the case of Wil Wheaton , I actually RAN INTO HIM. My friend and her mother chatted him up, and then asked him if he could sign my son’s program. Most of the signatures were $20, whether or not they were on an 8×10 glossy or your grandmother’s bum (I assume–I’m pretty sure no one was asking for that) and I don’t know what Jenny and her mom said, but he agreed to sign T’s program. T has been a HUGE fan ever since he saw Stand by Me, and so have I, actually. (And having just looked up his stats, I don’t feel like quite such a dirty old woman thinking that OMG, he really is a full-blown hottie, bless him!) Of course I also watched him be Wesley Crusher and the dead kid in Toy Soldiers. So when I rounded a corner and he turned towards me and there I was, suddenly face to face with him, I did a full blown Geekess: “Omigawd.” I think that’s about all I said that was coherent, because the hormonally dominated hamster powering the wheel in my head went *beep beep beep Professional Hottie Alert* and passed out. It’s a good thing he was signing T’s program, because if I’d had to open my mouth to be witty or charming, I would have drooled on myself. Sad? Yes. Fun? Omigawd!
H. Sit next to Rebecca and James, the Little Vampires people who are nice, fun, and so sweet as a couple that they absolutely have to make it in this business–they were made to be a success. Good people should be able to make a living making their dreams come true, you think? (I know all of you should.)
I. Be there with Phil and Margaret from The Gilded Bat who really want you to succeed and are as in awe of literature and talent and the goodness of the human race as you are. Except more so.
J. Have REALLY good and amazing friends come to support you–even if they’re the only ones who come (and they were) they made the whole thing worth it: Eric, Marcus, Jacob, Jean, Michelle, Jenny and Susan, you may or may not see this, but you all totally rock. Jean and Michelle, Friday night at the Gilded Bat was amazing, Eric, Marcus, Jacob–seeing you guys there made me feel a lot better as a teacher, even if I’m always totally anonymous as a writer and Jenny and Susan–DUDES! You introduced me to Wil Wheaton and Erin Gray!!!!!
K. Come home and tell Mate all about it. And then wish he’d been there. The big kids came with me and the little kids stayed home with Mate. *sad* Poor Mate. But lucky, lucky me:-)