I blame public television because…

* I walked in on the short people as they were watching Kim Possible, and Ladybug was on Cave Troll’s back giving a two hand yank on the kid’s underwear. Yup, you guessed it– Disney taught my three year old the power wedgie.

* The teenagers and I spent a giddy five minutes coming up with acronyms for swear words. The movie Madagascar gave us ‘Sugar Honey Ice Tea’, Big T gave us ‘Fricking Uncle Cracker King’, and Chicken came up with ‘Cracker Rice Arsenic Pee’– but I was the genius who developed ‘Good Orangutuangs Don’t Dick Around Mentally Masturbating In Trees.’

* Ladybug fell asleep today after rolling off a big stuffed dog and into the corner of the living room next to the toy chest. When I told her father this, he looked around Chiquita the dog and said, “I didn’t see her. The dog was in the way.”

I looked at the giant stuffed St. Bernard she was underneath. “Two, in fact.” That got me a smile from a very tired Mate–not poetry, but it was all good.