If April is the Cruelest Month…

Then does that make March just bitchy?

Hmmm…speaking of bitchy…

I’ve spent considerable time bitching on this blog, maybe it’s time to take some serious stock…


* My house is buried under 2 tons of crap. It’s to the point where I can’t even fathom where to start.

* My desk at work is buried under two tons of crap. It’s to the point where I don’t even know where to start.

* The laundry monster has won the right to sleep next to the bed unhindered. It doesn’t even mind when I step on it to get over the bathroom. It plays well with the baby–it’s actually higher than the bed, so there’s no chance that she’ll roll off. And if she does, she can’t tell.

* The mildew in the bathroom is developing a personality. I like it better than most of my 5th period class.

* We have no money and not much in the fridge. But lots and lots of chili and a diminishing sensitivity of smell.

* To that end,I told 6 kids in my AP class that I’d buy them pizza tomorrow, if they’d voluntarily come study for the test. They seem happier about the idea than the situation warrants.

* I want to live in the land of Eiran with my characters in BITTERMOON. Their lives are very simple. There’s magic, hot men, and Bethen (the mother figure) gets to knit all the time. Who wouldn’t want to be in Eiran?

* The older kids managed to clean the house…sort of. I mean, really, sort of… I mean really? How well can teenagers clean a house?

* The Cave Troll has a bump on his head, the baby has chocolate on her mouth and both of them are suffering from an insane attachment to their Big Red Car. On the plus side, they’re both insufferably cute.

* The baby has started putting the Cave Troll’s shark puppet on her hand and waving it about going “ROOOOOWWWWRRRRRR” which is what he does to her. Did I mention they’re insufferable cute?

* My best friend is here, looking like hell, because her job is as frustrating, painful, and infuriating as mine. She’s a nurse.

* The sockies for the dumbass kid are almost done. She’s still clueless, grumpy, and I fear for what her life will be like when she gives birth. But she will have blue booties (because she complained bitterly when I was going to do purple) for the little boy without a daddy.

* The intarsia blanket has developed a big honkin’ hole when I didn’t do the intarsia twist.

Okay, that’s it.

I see the pattern here, and I see what needs to be done.

Screw the house, we’re putting take-out on a new credit card and as soon as the booties are on, I’m casting on a pair of fingerless mitts for myself.

Screw you, impending April, I’m taking my joie d’vive back!

0 thoughts on “If April is the Cruelest Month…”

  1. Catie says:

    your house sounds like you could go on one of those HGTV things or something and they would organize it or whatever. Your kids sound cute. Oh and as an adult who isn’t all that far away from highschool-ish and undergraduate degree age (24) pizza and pop do wonders to motivation and showing up. They still bribe us with food in grad school (still pizza incidentally). It works, don’t know why though.

  2. NeedleTart says:

    Just one question? Why are you living in my house and why are we not having wonderful conversations?

  3. Amy Lane says:

    Well we are having wonderful conversations–they’re just bloggy ones:-)

  4. Rae says:

    Oh screw the house. You know, it really can’t talk back to you, it can’t talk about you, it can’t talk behind your back, it just can’t talk. And as a result, you can completely forget it. Let the piles pile. Who cares! You have far more important things to think about and work with —

    * insufferably cute kids who CAN talk to you (both with delightful and poisonous words depending on their mood)

    * fiber, even if it has holes or unique patterns. It’s fiber. It’s zen.

    * a credit card. OK, it’s a credit card, which will come back to bite you at some point. But at that point you’ll be rich and can simply pay it off. For now, enjoy the take out — every morsel, every bite. Savor it because you didn’t have to heat up the kitchen or wash dishes or do anything to get it except call.

    The world is bliss. 😉

  5. Amy Lane says:

    *ah* I’m among my peeps–life really is good:-)

  6. Yes. March is just plain bitchy.

    I just cleaned yesterday. It felt marvelous. I’m nowhere NEAR “perfect” around here, but at least you can walk through the downstairs hallway without turning sideways. And also the clean clothes are all put away – this is major. I may have to throw myself a party. Congratulations, Self, on this magnificent achievement! Why thank you, Self, it wasn’t easy but by golly I stuck with it.

    Hoooray, Self!

    Thank you, thank you.

    (I have to congratulate myself, because Dog knows nobody else around here is going to notice…wah wah wah whine whine whine so underappreciated…)

  7. I have a card on my refrigerator that says “At the worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived.” Who cares that your house is a mess. And money is just money. All that matters is that the people are taken care of. Money will come. Laundry will get done, eventually. But people need to be fed and nurtured and tended to now. At least that’s how my world works.
    And I finished Bound this morning. I’m tired. 🙂

  8. Amy Lane says:

    didjalikeit didjalikeit didjalikeit?

    (Seriously–can you forgive me for what I did to Chloe…that part really depressed me to write.)

  9. Oh, totally. She deserved it. She didn’t deserve to have them. Hell, she didn’t really know what she had to begin with.

  10. Amy Lane says:

    so you liked it? (The Lady liked my bo-ok! The Lady liked my bo-ok!)

  11. roxie says:

    Sweetie, while DH was killing demon cows yesterday afternoon, I took on Mt. Laundry. There are only two of us, and it still took fourty five minutes to fold and put away everything and THEN there’s stuff that really ought to be ironed. (I embrace the crinkled look but still, there are limits.)

    You, with a passel of young-uns, a more-than-full-time job, AND an avocation (writing) not to mention the Need to knit – you are ENTITLED to slack off! Besides, it’s not like it’s going to change the history of the world if you don’t get the floor swept today.

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