I’ll Get the Butter knife!

Okay– so Zoomboy has his second grade field trip to Fog Willow this morning. Do I know what Fog Willow is? Not a clue. Do I know he’s been all excited about it? Not a chance in hell I could not. He’s been telling me what to bring and what to wear, what he wants for lunch and generally how to behave on this morning I sent him off to Fog Willow. Apparently it’s someplace outside. It’s supposed to rain today, and heavy sweaters were involved.

Anyway, so I go to wake him up this morning.

“Zoomboy! Zoomboy, buddy! Wake up! You’re going to Fog Willow today!” (Still don’t know where it is!)

Zoomboy shoots up with alacrity and a certain bleary eyed excitement. “I’LL GET THE BUTTER KNIFE!”

I look at him with an armload of clothes in my hands. “O-kay… you do that. What’s the butter knife for?”

“To make my sandwiches. Peanut butter and jelly. No crusts.”

Gotcha! So, as he’s dressing, I’m making the sandwiches. (Peanut butter and jelly. No crusts. You heard the man!) I go to get a lunch pail (which he hasn’t used since Dad just gave up on the lunch thing and started giving him lunch money instead.)

“Mom, what are you doing with my first grade lunch pail?”

“Is this one from first grade?” I asked, unzipping it. “I didn’t rememb… SWEET MERCIFUL CHRIST!”

“Sorry mom. I forgot to throw away my banana.”

“Okay then. Well, I’m remembering to throw away this entire thing, howzzat?”

“OKay. What are you doing with my second grade lunch pail.”

“Opening it very carefully.” (Excuse me while I breathe a sigh of relief.) “And now I’m putting your lunch in it. Sandwiches, no crust, and goldfish.”

“No bananas.”

“Oh hell no!”

Eventually lunch is packed and Dad arrives from dropping off Chicken. “Isn’t today a dress up day?” he asks.

“Yes. I don’t have a twin.” Sadness. “Nobody will be dressed like me.”

I decide this is a good time to go to the bathroom, because he just sounds so sad, and I need to both pee and take a minute to not get all mommy-maudlin on my odd little duck, and then Mate comes into the bedroom and starts rifling through his drawers.

“Are you finding a matching outfit?” I ask, hiding my verklemptitude.

“Yeah,” he mutters. That’s Mate. Never making a big deal out of the shit that absolutely spins the world right on its axis.

So up top is a picture of the two of them, Zoomboy and Mate. I was going to pimp Waiting (because it’s out at ARe and amazon.com and fictionwise.com) but you know?

I think Zoomboy and Mate get top billing.

Don’t forget the butter knife!

0 thoughts on “I’ll Get the Butter knife!”

  1. Damon Suede says:

    Wonderful. This little lie-slice made me strangely teary and I can't put my finger on why. SOmehtig about how authentic and comprezsed it was.

    That was lovely. Thanks for sharing that peek into your family6. The sound amazing.

    I'm going to be shouting "DOn't forget the butterknife!" the rest of the week.

  2. roxie says:

    He IS the best dad in the house!! And you're the best writer in the world!

  3. Louiz says:

    How lovely of Mate… and how gross is that lunch box. Yick!

  4. LOLOLOLOLOLOL I've so found that lunchbox before. It was horrific – turkey and cheese sandwich. I can't even bring myself to tell you how old it was…

    Your family is absolutely awesome! 😀 But I still wanna know – what *is* Fog Willow? It sounds all mystical and magical.

  5. Catie says:

    Cory and I had a lot of laughs about this post – he had to come read it himself because I was laughing too much about the lunch pail…

  6. Hope the field trip was buckets full of fun.

  7. Chris says:

    O.O about the banana!

    Cute picture!

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