Okay, not really. I’m a woman who’s been married for 21 years and has had a hell of a day (errands w/T, errands w/Chicken, family picture, dinner & a movie– I’m not in it for the glamour, just the swollen ankles!)
Anyway… I may wax rhapsodic about Mate and how 21 years feels like two, but not tonight. Tonight, I’ve got some Zoomboy gems that I’ve GOT to get down before I forget!
First of all…
Last week, I got a glimpse into the inner workings of Zoomboy’s mind. He’s been talking a lot about marSOOpEEuls and FINALLY I realized he had a school project on them. He was making an EXPERT book– so now he’s an expert on marSOOpEEuls.
I did not realize how much of an expert until he kept asking me to make him an animal.
“Mom– make me an animal! What kind of animal am I?”
“I was a kangaroo yesterday. Make me another animal.”
“I was a possum last week. Make me another animal.”
“MOMMM! I’m TIRED of being a marSOOpEEul… make me ANOTHER kind of mammal!”
“Wombats are marsupials?”
“Of course they are! That’s why they’re in my book!”
I did not know. And now I do.
So the other day, when we were in the pool, Zoomboy decided he was tired of being mammals and he would be an invertebrate. “Mom, I’m a squid!”
“Okay– you’re a squid.”
Shortly after this, Chicken and I were talking about sunblock– we’d forgotten it for Squish, and I was worried about her turning into a strawberry fritter (which she did, btw, but not too strawberry.)
“Mom, do I need sunblock?”
“No, Zoomboy, you tan.”
“Oh good. I’m a TAN SQUID!”
Now you have to say these two words REALLY LOUD to figure out how funny they really are! But the final conclusion was that we were happier being a TAN SQUID than a BEIGE MARSOOPEEUL… because ‘tan’ was cool… but ‘beige’ was boring, like the guy on TV!
And that brings me to the family photo.
There we were, taking the family photo, and he was STRATOSPHERIC with extra energy. Finally, in an effort to get him to concentrate on the camera, I said, “Okay, everyone– look at the camera and say “I am a TAN SQUID!”
Well, it didn’t work– half the pictures were something out of a sitcom “My family is so weird this is our family photo” montage… but he was very proud of himself.
So, there you go, folks. I’ve been married for 21 years… and my son is a TAN SQUID!