I’m bad…

So very bad.

I was gonna kill someone and then fall asleep and forget about it. I hated my job, the students, the book, and crap, I was even hating Almighty Freakin’ Emerson. And then it happened.

We had two fouled up schedules in a row, and the smallest gear on my sposta snapped, and now we’re watching movies.


You know, when you go to English teacher’s school, you have these lovely bucolic, utopian dreams about simply giving the students the texts and then having them come back to talk about books and you think “WOW. I want that job. I’ve been reading all my life and I LOVE to talk about books–how is it that people aren’t lining up for that job?”

And then you meet your fellow inmates and the lightbulb ’bout blinds you. “Aha. THIS is why people would rather scrub toilets with their toothbrushes than have this job. I understand now.”

And sometimes, you do something by fuck-lucky accident that reminds you why you have a scrubbie for the toilet and a toothbrush all your own.

For me, every year, it’s a movie for no good reason but that we’re all exhausted, hate life, school, and each other to the extent that we may just have to kill something or drop-kick a poodle to make it better.

Instead, we save the poodle and put some mileage on the dvd/vcr.

And the kids are watching. I mean, that doesn’t sound like a big deal, but I HATE putting in random movies that the kids won’t watch. But putting in a good movie (Frequency, Taps, Sense & Sensibility) that gets their attention and invests them? I mean, that’s the essence of why we teach English ’til 12th grade. STORIES people–we want them to understand the heartbeat of STORIES. It’s why we drag them kicking and screaming from the fillings in their molars through Pride & Prejudice and The Crucible–we want them to understand that ART IS A SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR LIFE!!! That the things we do and see in fiction resonate in our hearts like tuning forks, until we either comprehend them in our bones or fly apart in our own self-destructive ignorance. And sometimes, when the kids forget this is school, it actually happens.

So I’m bad. Spank me. It’s gotta feel better than the last week!

In synopsis news? I’ve got two more to go. And…that’s all I want to say about that.

I’m also almost done with the Cave Troll’s socks (yee-ha–have I mentioned I LOATHE this colorway? I guess even colorsluts have things they won’t do for anything but love…) I’m also almost done with some wristlets for a Senior…*sigh* Senior gifts are gonna kill me this year. But I got a visit from a kid I had two years ago who just got his pharmacy degree…I was so proud of him I almost cried.

I bet HE remembers the movies I used to show:-)

0 thoughts on “I’m bad…”

  1. Donna Lee says:

    I used to be bad once in a while when I was teaching Reading. But sometimes it’s worth it to just relax and breathe all together. I used to figure that if I was tired of them, they must be really tired of me and the sound of my voice. One of my students joined the military and came back in his uniform and I cried to see how adult he looked. I remember when I was teaching science and he turned to me and said “wait a minute, are you trying to make me think for myself?” You bet.

  2. TinkingBell says:

    Yay! I had two English teachers who loved English and stories – and you know what? I still think of them fondly – one encouraged me to write poetry and to engage in public speaking and drama and say POEMS OUT LOUD!!
    Never looked back, always adored showing off in public and it’s because of him I’ve never shut up and I enjoyed being a uni lecturer – because it was a stag show guys – all singing, all dancing! That’s me – the entertainer!

    I bet you’re like that teacher – I bet you inspire!(My security word?uuuung!- sounds like me in the morning!)

  3. Isn’t spring break coming up soon?

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