Irritation, mortification, & vindication

It started with the irritation–which was actually unfounded on my part, but it looked good in the title.

I was dropping off books at The Almost Perfect Bookstore (one of a couple of places you can find me in the wild) and I mentioned to Kelley that there was a discussion going on in which a kind reader compared me (favorably!) to Stephanie Meyer .

“That’s a stretch!” She snorted, and for a moment, I was a little irritated. I mean, I’m not best selling, but I’m not *that* bad, am I? And then I started talking to the guy at the counter, who is a 10 on the preternaturally cool scale and I sort of figured out that she meant that my books had lots of, uhm, sex. And Meyer’s have none at all. So, the irritation went away, but the memory of thinking maybe a little much of myself did not.

My next stop was the mall, with Big T–he was in search of shoes–and we passed the Borders Express that carries my books in it on the way through to the shoe store. I’m not entirely a good mama, so I tried to ditch him at Famous Footwear next door, but he wasn’t going.

“You know this is stupid, don’t you?” I said to him, laughing. “I’m just here for my own dumb ego…”

“Can I help you?” Asked the nice woman at the store, as I was scanning ‘romance’ for my title.

“I’m good,” I replied, grimacing. “I’m just here as an exercise in vanity that’s going to result in a bruised ego.”

“Oh, hey–are you a writer, looking for a book?” She had a great smile, by the way.

“Yeah,” I replied. I was about to say, “But I”m self-published, so I doubt you’d carry me,” when she said, (this is the good part!) “Hey–are you Amy Lane?”

“Uhm, yeah!” (Holy Cat, Brapsman–she knows who I am?)

“I really loved your first book–I’m ordering your second and your third. Would you like to do a signing? Here, let’s set you up with a book signing…would June 14th be okay?”

And THAT’S the great part. That’s the really really really really really REALLY great part–and now, we really will need that fork-lift and back-hoe to get my ego out of the front door. (squee. Squeeeeeeeee. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! hee hee hee hee hee hee hee…*whew* Okay, now that that’s out of my system…)

And then we went into Famous Footwear and I totally embarrassed myself.

There was a very nice young man, sitting with his three children hanging over him, and I looked at him, and recognized him, and then blanked completely on his name. Student? I thought in a panic, and then I said, helplessly, “Name?”

He was a teacher. We’ve worked together for six years. I’m SUCH an idiot. I have two things in my defense though–one, I was riding the high of getting my first book signing just handed to me on a silver platter for being visible (the nice woman followed me on the discussion forums…now I’m all thinking about anything I’ve said that might be embarrassing…CURSE YOU, INTERNET!!!). The other thing is that he was casually dressed with a visor on and looked happy and young.

I mean, how many of us ever look that happy and that young when we’re teaching where we teach? Seriously–that alone might have blown it for me, but he was so totally out of context–here I was in book/kid/mall-land, and I was so not expecting anyone from work–but he was very sweet about it. And very cute with his kids, too–it was fun to see.

And that’s my post–almost.

This is, (drum roll please!!!) my 400th post. Blessed Merino, patron saint of wool–can you believe that funky bullshit? Anyway, I’m finally going to run a contest. It’s sort of a ‘raid my stash’ contest, but I want to make it stash for anyone–book people, knitting people, whoever–so I figured what I’d do is have you guys leave a comment (anyone who leaves a comment is eligible) but have you name your poison. Do you want books? The new book? The first three books? Some hand-painted sock yarn? Self-striping sock yarn? Do you have a favorite brand? Favorite color? If I have it and I draw your name, it’s yours! Some al paca dk? Self-striping worsted in shades of green? I’ve got a shit-load of black Noro silverthorne that I haven’t used…Just name your poison, the yarn/thing you’d like best from my stash or published works, and in addition to any freaky/cool thing I want to throw in the box, if I draw your name, that’s what’s gonna get sent. It’ll be fun, too–we can see what you covet, and that’s always fun to know. (I just got a super-cool buzz from making a friend a pair of socks in a color that I personally am not all that thrilled about, but whenever I look at it, I hear her say, ‘That’s really pretty yarn’. I fully expect to get the same kind of buzz by sending something cool to someone here!!!) So, anything you think I might have that I might be willing to part with–throw it out, and if I draw your name (and it’s not one of my kids!) it’s very possibly yours.

I’m hoping to get some lurkers in the comments too–that would be a lot of fun! So go ahead, folks–name your poison! And happy blog-o-versary to me;-)

0 thoughts on “Irritation, mortification, & vindication”

  1. gemma says:

    I always knew you were a legend! wahoo, 400 posts and a book signing. I loves yarn, something shiny please if I win, gem

  2. Galad says:

    Congratulations on 400 posts and a book signing! Too bad we live so far away or I’d come be your cheerleader.

    I have all your books, so some self-striping sock yarn would be wonderful if I win. I’ve heard one can never have too much sock yarn.

  3. TinkingBell says:

    Oh Sweetie!! Happiest blogiversary – and a book signing! – You are as good or better than Stephanie Meyer – yes I love her – but I love yours more – oh goodies – 2nd little goddess or yarn – any sort except dead muppet!! The day at the zoo sounds wonderful – sometimes it’s better to do the stuff that occurs – rather than the plan!

  4. Netter says:

    Congratulations many times over! I can’t in good conscience ask for yarn (I haven’t brought new yarn into the house in three months), but I’d love to read your books.

  5. 400 posts? You don’t look that old… πŸ™‚

    Book signing? w00t!!

  6. Louiz says:

    Woohoo! book signing, recognition straight away and 400 posts… am bouncing with happiness for you.. and I like yarn

  7. ismarah says:

    demmit! a book signing practically on my birthday and i’m stupidly on another continent!

    I’d agree with resemblance to Stephenie Meyer – her books make me cry almost as much as yours do.

    I guess if crying is a symptom of quality then yours are better? And should sell, way way more.

    Congrats on the 400th.

  8. roxie says:

    A book signing? Just handed to you you like that? IF you had any idea how patiently I have been hammering away at Borders to get a book signing . . . I am SO happy for you! That is just wayyy, wayyy too cool! Make sure you have a couple boxes of books out in the car just in case the store runs out, ok? Squeeee!

    I would like a picture by Chicken, please. Perhaps she could design a fanciful hat?

  9. Alyssa says:

    Congratulations on your book signing! *happy dancing* That is so exciting. I would go but sadly way to far away… πŸ™ I would love a signed book (the third one being my favorite so far…) I hope Bitter Moon II isn’t giving you too much trouble and we’ll get to read it soon!!

    Yeah for Amy!!

  10. Bunny Queen says:

    Congrats on being recognized in the wild *and* getting a book signing out of it! I’d love to read your books. If I don’t win them, they are on my list of books to track down once my budget allows for more than library books. πŸ™‚

  11. Donna Lee says:

    400 posts! How long did that take? You are such a prolific writer that I’ll bet it’s not too long. Congrats on the book signing. I’ll pretend to be standing next to you telling you the person’s name just like they do at the harlot’s signings. And any kind of prize is good for me. I love suprises.

  12. Hello, I like your books, I read the first three over the weekend. Are you going to write anymore with Cory?

    Sock Yarn please.

  13. Unknown says:

    400 posts AND a book signing! Too Cool!

    So I’m one of those lurkers.

    If I win I’d love yarn. I’m a junkie. I love Noro and you mentioned a type I don’t know so that would be fab. But I’m easy to please as long as it’s yarn and a natural fiber or blend.

  14. OhAmyKP says:

    Congratz! on the 400th post. I’m new to your blog, came here by way of

    I’m just tentatively stepping over into the Sock knitting relm. Last night I cast on Jaywalker sock with dk weight (Wide feet). I want to do a test run before I use nice pretty expensive sock yarn.

    So some machine washable Self-striping sock yarn would great But if you happen to have an Old swift or ball winder laying around, that would be welcome instead.

  15. ikkinlala says:

    Congratulations on 400 posts, and best of luck with the book signing!

    I like yarn. I like most kinds of yarn, but to be more specific my first choice right now would be solid or semi-solid coloured yarn in natural or mostly-natural fibre.

  16. Jess says:

    Oooh, congrats on your book signing! That sounds like a ridiculous amount of fun. And possibly, a serious amount of lost sleep.

    If you have any, I’d die for a skein or two of Wollmeise sock yarn in pretty colors! If not, I’d really love a set of your books. Signed, of course. πŸ˜‰

  17. Miss T says:

    A book signing? Fabulous! Congratulations!!

    I must admit that black Noro sounds most intriguing….

  18. wenat says:

    It’s great to find a new author and a fun contest, too! Congrats on the signing and the posts. And yes, I’ve had that same experience with my colleagues, too. (The weirdest was one who I didn’t realize was gay until I saw him with a group of gay men on the seawall walk. Apparently, my gaydar is broken.) I’d be in for the noro if I win, but a set of your books also sounds wonderful.

  19. Kristen says:

    Congratulations on your 400th post! If I’m a winner I’d like some yarn with greens or cool colors in it. Green is my favorite color but I rarely find wearable shades.

  20. Congratulations on the book signing! Here’s a riddle to help you celebrate:

    What do kittens, boyfriends, yarn, certain body parts and egos have in common?

    Congratulations on the 400th post!
    I’d love some yarn if I win, and I guess teal green through blue right up to royal purple would be a good color range, if you’ve got anything handy.

    I found your blog thru WiKnit’s contest blog.

    Answer to riddle: Don’t be afraid to stroke your own in public… sometimes someone will see you and come over to stroke it for you. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, I’ll leave up to you.

    Congratulations again!

  21. Elaine says:

    Happy Blogiversary and Congrats on snagging a book signing! Great story!

    I am a knitting and yarn junkie so I would love yarn. My favorite color is purple also blue, but I’d love Noro anything.

  22. Siercia says:

    Yay for the free-range sighting and book signing! That’s awesome.

    Should I be the lucky winner, books please, since I’m already drowning in yarn and I’ve not yet read any of your books.

  23. Congrats on you book signing and 400 posts!
    I would love sock yarn of any kind other than self striping. The best way to contact me is through Ravelry where my ID is knittingpanda87

  24. Heather says:

    how fun that she knew who you were! my closest “famous” moment was when i moved to Baltimore and i mentioned my mom was an author, and some one said “no way! you are THE heather from the book!?”
    it was weird that someone i never met knew who i was b/c of my mom’s book.

    things i currently covet noro sock yarn. we cant get it in my lil town. and i hear there is now noro silk garden sock yarn.
    seriously anything noro makes me drool!

  25. NeedleTart says:

    Wait! Who is Stephanie Myers and why would I want to read a book with no sex in it?

    I have long been tempted by the Noro in yarn catalogs and would love to try out some. Hint, hint.

  26. Lyssa says:

    Congratulations on your 400th post and mega-congratulations on the book signing! I started reading your blog a while ago, when Roxie gifted me with a copy of Vulnerable. If my name comes up in the drawing, I’d love a copy of the second book which I never quite get around to ordering πŸ™‚ Oh, and I’d like Chicken to inscribe it, since she sounds like quite a person herself.

  27. Lurkers are invited, cool! If I win, I wish you’d donate a copy of Bitter Moon to the Natomas Public Library. Congratulations!

  28. Em says:

    THAT IS SOOOO COOL!!! I’m excited for you! Make sure you get pictures for us East Coast people. Congrats on the signing. You have totally earned it, so live up every moment.

    I have a tendency to not recognize people, too. I’m great with faces, but godawful with names. I think it comes from seeing so many people come and go in one day.

    If I win, I am totally in favor of an Amy Lane autographed edition or two. Yarn and knitting are great, but books are my deepest, oldest addiction. If I worked in a bookstore, there would be no food/rent money. Ever. But ohhh, the books.

  29. purple-power says:

    Congrats on 400 posts and a book signing deal from a lurker.

    I’d love to win some yarn. The Noro sounds great, but then so does almost anything. I love alpaca, I love silk, I love wool, I love cotton, I love hand-painted anything, I love purple, I love blue, I love red are you getting the theme here?

  30. Oh! That is SOOOOO exciting!! Congratulations – I’m going to figure out how to get up there if it kills me.

  31. Bianca says:

    Congrats on your 400th post, and on your book signing. πŸ™‚

    Hmmm… my poison would be definitely yarn, but I love surprises more…LOL! But I hardly ever win anything so I’ll just dream away.

  32. Bells says:

    A book signing? Just like that? Just by being there? WOW! talk about great timing. You rock. Well done.

    Oh my poison…I was all set for the books and then you said Noro and then I thought, no, I have a little bit of Noro and I don’t have any of Amy’s books and then I thought, ah well, if I do win, I’m just going to let her choose what she thinks I might like best!

  33. I hope I’m not too late to enter. I had to work three doubles in a row and then create a blog just so I could enter. =). I would like a set of your books please so that I can stop borrowing my mother’s. Oh and my friend’s are giving your name out to their family’s as a must read author. Congratulations on the book signing! And I’m knitting a hat. Not well…

  34. Turtle says:

    Happy 400th! Ok, I have to admit that your name was new to me! But upon looking you up I am amazed i have not ran across your books before as they sound like just what i would love to read. So, even though i SO love yarn and that Noro and alpaca sounds delicious I would love to read your Goddess series! I tend to be a bit of a book worm, lol, ok I’m a yarn ho as well but….i’ll just shut up now! smile

  35. GeorgiaPeach says:

    Hi Amy!

    Congrats on your book signing. Post the address and time, and I am attempt to brave the drive on the 5 from Southern Cali to Northern…

    I would love a signed copy of one of each of your books because I am greedy! πŸ˜‰

    Lurkers lurk on!

  36. Unknown says:

    Woohoo! I’m all about you’re newest book or some handpainted sock yarn.

  37. Heddy says:

    Congrats on 400 posts! Wow! that’s a lot!

    I am a nut for anything that makes a paatern – self striping sock yarnm, Noroo, self patterning yarns … it just amazes me to no end that someone was clever enough to do the math to make the yarn do that magic!

  38. Hooray! You’ll have to let me know what time your book signing is! I’ll come down and hang out. :} Will you be doing a reading too, or just sitting at a table signing books?

  39. Katie O says:

    Congrats on 400 and a book signing HOORAY!! Yes, you drew out a lurker. I don’t own any of your books, but I would love to. I have also never worked with noro or alpaca… so either of those would be heavenly!!!

  40. Congrats on the book signing and the blogaversary;)I would love signed copies of all your books I love to read.You can throw in anything you want in the box if I win Iam easy to please and love surprises:)Hugs Darcy

  41. Maria says:

    Happy Blogiversary!! Happy Knitting! 400 posts is pretty hefty!!
    smile πŸ˜‰

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