It’s all in the eyeballs…

So truthfully, this cold is kicking my ass.

I had plans for what I was going to write on the blog this week and…oi.

Had to be up super early this morning after getting to bed super late and coughing all night–again. This morning I took the car in to be serviced then Mate and I went Christmas shopping, and then we went to lunch, and then…

I. Just. Stopped.

Like, forgot my purse at lunch, “Honey, I’m at the zoo!” quit on the whole world. Mate got me home, I said, “DERP! PURSE!” and Mate said, “I’ll get it. But first you have to put the stuff away.”


About the stuff.

The stuff is mostly socks and underwear at this point, with a couple of “toys” for the kids.

But when I say “toys” I mean last ditch material efforts to get the kids to love us before they decide we’re too old to talk to anymore.

Because seriously– they didn’t want a Switch Box, they didn’t want games, they didn’t want… well, anything. These are seriously content children. Anything they DID want, Squish sent me a link to and I’d already bought it.

So my brain was mid-shut-down and we were IN CHRISTMAS CENTRAL and I couldn’t think of a fucking thing to buy my own children.

God knows what’s in those bags.

But I WILL tell you what was in them what wasn’t SUPPOSED to be in them.

Cough syrup.

Which is important later.

Anyway, I stow the stuff in the unused room which is quickly becoming SO unused we can’t walk a path through it, and shut the door. Then I fall face down on the bed and fall asleep. I’m freezing, so I cover myself with folded laundry, and I don’t wake up for two hours. As in, it’s a good think Mate was here, because went to get the kids and I didn’t even remember to set my phone.

I eventually wake up, do some work, then sit down to watch TV and… well, I could say “I crafted” but the real truth was, I crafted because getting up to cook dinner was beyond me. Mate made us soup. He was so proud. Safeway Signature Recipes helped.

Finally bedtime rolls around and Squish is coughing. Go figure. I’ve been a plague dog for the last four days.

“Squish!” I call. “Do you want some cough syrup!”

“Yes!” She comes into the living room and Mate looks at me.

I am knitting under a blanket, covered by dogs.

He stands up and walks toward the kitchen and I say, “Uh, it’s not there.”

He turns around and we have an eyeball conversation.

Where is it?

The unused room.



Where in the unused room?

Anybody can find it.



And then he laughs out loud and turns down the hallway.

Squish says “I don’t understand what just happened.”

We have been watching the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel so she understands this next part.

“Daddy and I just told a joke. We told the set up, the build, the punchline, then the recall, and then we laughed like the audience, and we did it all with our eyeballs.”

“Except the laugh.”


“We’re that good.”


“Sweetie, when you take that cough syrup, don’t make any frickin’ plans.”

“I don’t even know what you mean.”

“Trust me. Just… trust me.”

So I’m off to bed. I’m taking some cough syrup, now that we have some. I’ll wave to you all when the comas over.


Thanks for making HomeBird a success 🙂  People really seem to love it– thank you!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *