I’ve got more than nothing and less than something.

I’m afraid I’m going random style today–sorry. I’ve been trying to dredge up something coherent all day, and it just isn’t flying. Brain on sludge–talk to me after Christmas!

* I hate my 3rd period class. A lot. Someone VANDALIZED A FUCKING DESK today–I caught it in time to wipe that thing clean but after searching umpteen back-packs I didn’t find the damned pen. Fucking kids. I know which asshole did it, too, but I just can’t pin it on him and I’m SO tired of this shit!!! I had a vile thought today–I thought I was GLAD that fucker is failing–and I AM!!! And do you know why I can’t feel guilty about it? I can’t feel guilty about it because even if he takes my class again–hell, even if he takes 11th grade English four more times, he will not have wasted any more of his life force than he has wasted for the rest of us combined during the LAST FOURTEEN WEEKS! (*kicks table*) AUUUUUUUGHHHH!!!!!!!! I’m pissed all over again. Shit.

* Ladybug keeps trying to be a cat. She crawls on the back of the sofa, sits at our feet, crawls up on my chest and lays on top of my knitting looking at me and saying *meow* (I am NOT kidding!) What’s sad is that it finally hit me how cute this is–I mean, how seriously damned cute. And I almost missed it because I was fantasizing about rolling someone else’s kid in honey and leaving him for those big fucking red ants in Indiana Jones Nuked the Fridge. Yup. It’s official. I’ve hit the place where I hate my job again.

* Big T’s school had a lockdown this morning while T was taking his ASVAB because some idiot brought a weapon to school. I think I should keep that imaginary anthill ready– T might need it.

* I’m knitting a big honkin’ acrylic guilty pleasure with sockyarn. Seriously–brought out the whoopty twelves and went for it–and the scarf is just cruising! Easy Christmas present for a muggle–I’m down with this bad mama!

* The short people had a riot going to bed tonight. I just thought I’d throw that in for color–it helped to top off my mood like whipped cream and a formaldahyde cherry!

* I’m reading–seriously–I’ve finished almost two books in two weeks. Ten years ago, that would have been nuthin’. Today, it’s like fitting into my skinny pants!!! I miss reading for pleasure–it used to be one of the things that kept me sane, which nowadays, I think means I’m not sane in the least. (I’m sure the surprise that I’m completely loony-bo-batshit has most of you just glued to the floor, doesn’t it?)

* Eric my old student visited me today. There is something wonderful about having someone who laughs at your jokes and doesn’t judge your, uhm, alternative lifestyle erotic paranormal romance (read: gay werewolf porn) as anything other than thoughtful entertainment come and talk to you. It’s like having a friend in real life–it’s occurred to me that I don’t have may of those. I really am an internet geek–ah, well. It was bound to happen.

* Eric’s visit meant that I missed the yarn-club meeting at school. On the one hand I’m bummed–some nice people there. On the other hand, the EXTREMELY judgmental colleague who finishes every sentence I utter with the words ‘Yarn Geek’ as though it’s funny–you know, like taking your favorite book and adding ‘in you pants to the end’–“The Great Gatsby–in your pants!”–anyway, I wasn’t forced to visit her. I was relieved. She’s really mean.

* I would like to lose weight, but I have to stop using cheese as a main ingredient and cookies as a diet supplement. I’m sure once I do that, everything else will follow.

* I remember this time last year–I wrote the post about the Mean Scorpio Moon. I can feel this time of year in my gut and lungs–and it is mean. It’s vicious, it’s hopeless, it’s an astrological tantrum in my bones. All I ask for is the strength to not just hunker down and endure, but to turn around and snarl in the face of the gnawing hopelessness and chew some sinew from the things that piss me off. Canya gimme a little grit and gumption, Goddess? I knew you could–amen!

0 thoughts on “I’ve got more than nothing and less than something.”

  1. TinkingBell says:

    Cute cat you got there!

    I know – this year – sucks big time – this time last year – all excited and stuff – but this year – bleurgh!

    ANd falui that kid – he deserves nothing from you – except failure – mwaaahhh!

  2. Donna Lee says:

    I don’t understand the need to deface someone else’s property and I would want to kick the kid, not the desk. And Ladybug has it right. Cats have it made. Sleep and eat all day. Only associate with people when YOU want to. Scratch people who annoy you. Always the coolest creature in the room. If it weren’t for that lick your own butt thing, i’d totally be a cat.

  3. TinkingBell says:

    I meant fail – fail him – faillllllll!

  4. roxie says:

    Although the kid is a tick on the scrotum of the universe, you will still do the best you can for him because you expect nothing less from yourself. And he will remain a sad waste of skin because he expects nothing better from himself.

    So what’s wrong with being a turtle during that mean Scorpio moon? Pull in all the tender bits till the scorpion is past.

    And cuddle your little red-headed cat. Heck, cuddle them all!

  5. Watch those cats, they like to get into the yarn…

    You’re having an issue with students; mine is co-workers. Not sure which is worse.

    Word verification: bedapho

  6. Galad says:

    I’m with Ladybug. Being a cat sounds like a darned good idea, especially an indoor pampered cat complete with human servants. I could try that for a while.

  7. sheila says:

    The short people had a riot going to bed…I have to laugh because I think my little guy got the memo from them regarding this!

  8. Ahem. I’m quite real!
    And do you have plans for next semester that I don’t know about? Because I heard a rumor today that has me puzzled.

    And that colleague, the one who harps on “Yarn Geek”, is jealous. And mean. But mostly jealous.

  9. gemma says:

    Hey chick,
    I watched the moon come up last night through smoke haze (back burning) so it was glowing brown/red, and so it go down this morning in pink/purple. Vury prutty! Not threatening at all ….

    Just have a very loud “nervous breakdown” at some moment in third period. Wave the arms about, cry, some other dramatic effect, really scare the delightful students.

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