* On all those crime dramas, why don’t serial killers ever come back with a hangover and some advil? Why does it always have to be with a vengeance?
* And why are they so pissed off on television anyway? I mean hell, they’re getting serious press!
* What kind of woman lets her grade school children watch Titanic?
* Is it bad that she enjoyed the solid half-an-hour of “I need you, mommy!” after the sobfest at the end?
* Oh, tiny dog, I now know why you didn’t need to be walked today! (Hint: That’s not chocolate!)
* How much time can a time suck suck if a time suck could suck peeps?
* When the dog is sniffing at places we’re walking by, is he identifying his friends? “Oh, Jimmy! There you are! I’d recognize that piss anywhere! And oh, *sniff* that must be the Samoyed with the nice tail! Think she’d give me some? And omgLOOK! It’s CRAPZILLA!”
* If we could train the dog to sleep with the kids, do you think they could all be trained to sleep SOMEWHERE ELSE BUT OUR BED?
* It’s hard to stick to a diet when my brain is consumed with the ever-present dialog between steak and chocolate. Steak is winning at present, but chocolate has made a good case.
* I just had a FB chat in German. My human translator was awesome, but do you think Bing would like a thank you note for offering help on the side?
* You know you’ve done good when your publisher sends you a contract along with the e-mail, “I hate you!” Yes. Angst achieved. I’ve made someone cry. I’m gonna go eat chocolate now in remorse. #notsorryevenalittle #wellmaybeforthechocolate
* Jack Reacher is a kick ass hero, both in the books and in the movie. But in the third book he’s 6’5″ tall, 250 lbs. of sheer muscle, and was described as “a condom stuffed with walnuts”. I’d like me some of that, even just to slash. Jack Reacher, watch out– there’s a man out there for you!
* I saw The Last Stand last night, and while it was typical gory Swartzeneger, complete with exploding brains and squishy sound effects, it was also solid action entertainment. Of course MY favorite part was when the Hero in Need of Redemption gave a manly hug to the Deputy in the Red Uniform through prison bars. HelLO plotbunny!
* I’d like to declare the nap that will follow this blog post as part of my creative process. And any knitting that comes with it.
* And once again I’d like to thank Steven Spielberg for Jurassic Park and a movie my kids can watch that I can analyze and say, “Yeah. It stands up.”
* Off to go snuggle with dog and sleep. #Ineedthis
* May we ALL have a happy and productive week:-)