Let the record show…

My daughter’s poop is going to be yellow for a week.

So will her teeth.

There is a pink spot on the floor that will never come out.

The table cloth is toast.

So is the green towel.

And a couple of pairs of pants.

And the Spongebob underwear.

And my King’s T-shirt.

The kid’s fingers are purple and blue and orange

And pink and green (but not yellow!)

And there are only thirty eggs left out of a cool three dozen.

The dog’s farts are turning lethal.

And she’ll be crapping eggshells for a while.

And a couple of crayons didn’t make it.

And the big kids showed up just long enough

To show off their drawing skills

(With crayons we can no longer use.)

And mom is retreating to the bedroom

With a cold cloth

And a trashy book

And her i-Pod set to Linkin’ Park.

And the family is proud to announce

That this year’s pagan fertility symbols

Have been decorated with food dye.

Happy Oestre.

0 thoughts on “Let the record show…”

  1. Louiz says:

    Cool. I really ought to do this with Kathryn, but it’s not a thing traditionally done in my family – so I don’t even know if you blow the eggs or use hard boiled eggs!

  2. Julie says:

    I assume you dyed eggs with food coloring. I am the food coloring QUEEN.

    If the clothes are cotton and you wash them in cold water, about ten times, the food coloring will – probably – come out.

    If the pink on the floor is food coloring (red 3, bane of my existence), it will come off. Eventually. It has to oxidize off and it takes forever but it will eventually go away. (I’ve dealt with a husband, hysterical over pink countertops.) Hitting it with a bleach wipe every day helps.

    Yellow 5 is one of the few food additives proven in real lab tests to trigger hyperactivity in kids. (Sugar just causes tooth decay.) So, uh. Look out. I doubt you need me to tell you this.

    The more I learn about food coloring, the less I let my kid eat it. Or want to eat it myself.

    You’re a brave Mum. Well done. You have happy kids, and that’s what counts.

    Happy Ostara/Easter/Passover/spring!

  3. roxie says:

    Ah, memories! Did she drink the yellow dye?

  4. NeedleTart says:

    Now, see, this is why I never remember to dye eggs for Hanukkah (we have the Hanukkah chicken visit due to an old, old card sent to the kids by their Aunt). You can’t use sun power to bleach the colors out in December in PA.
    Happy Spring (and whatever may be appropriate)

  5. Galad says:

    I briefly considered coloring eggs myself yesterday. I’ve always loved doing that even if it is a mess. Of course, with kids the mess going to another level entirely 🙂

    They will have great memories – so way to go mom!

  6. What a fun day. Enjoy your holiday.

  7. Bells says:

    oh the photos that could have accompanied this would have been cool. Not of the poop though, obviously.

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