My daughter’s poop is going to be yellow for a week.
So will her teeth.
There is a pink spot on the floor that will never come out.
The table cloth is toast.
So is the green towel.
And a couple of pairs of pants.
And the Spongebob underwear.
And my King’s T-shirt.
The kid’s fingers are purple and blue and orange
And pink and green (but not yellow!)
And there are only thirty eggs left out of a cool three dozen.
The dog’s farts are turning lethal.
And she’ll be crapping eggshells for a while.
And a couple of crayons didn’t make it.
And the big kids showed up just long enough
To show off their drawing skills
(With crayons we can no longer use.)
And mom is retreating to the bedroom
With a cold cloth
And a trashy book
And her i-Pod set to Linkin’ Park.
And the family is proud to announce
That this year’s pagan fertility symbols
Have been decorated with food dye.