Imagine a completely destroyed suburban home, late at night. Mate is working hard on WoW in the living room, I am working hard (don’t laugh!) on Bitter Moon II, when suddenly our peace is interrupted by a series of intestinal sounds that would frighten the dog…if she wasn’t half deaf and the one emitting them.
Me: “Fucking dog.”
Mate: “Why, what’s she doing?”
Me: “Trying to jet propel herself across the kitchen floor. She keeps sticking on the kool-aid–it’s all that slows her down.”
Mate: “Nice.”
Dog: plbt…ffft…pblogp.t..splt…ssssssssssstttttttblurpt
Me: “Either that, or she’s trying to play the Star Spangled Banner with her ass…”
Mate: “Do you think that would get her on Letterman? Would we get paid for that?”
Dog: ppppppllllllllllllbbbbbbttttttt….ssssssssssssssblrupltlprlpt.sssssssstttttttttttttttfffffffffffffffff
Me: “AND THE HO-ME OF THE BRAVE!!!!!”
Thank you, thank you very much… we’ll be here all week!
