So Mate and I are out of the little kid birthday game. When do you send out invitations again? One week before the party? Two? I thought one–I remember missing parties where the lead in was too long. Mate thought two–but he forgot to remind me two weeks before the party, and I’m the one who buys the invitations. So we were aiming for one, got them out on Tuesday, except Zoom Boy was responsible for handing them out and there were socio/political/educational blocks in the way of handing them out at recess.
He didn’t get them out until Thursday.
Nobody’s RSVP’d yet.
Nobody’s coming to my little boy’s birthday party except family.
Shit.
So we sit down with Zoom Boy to warn him. “Honey, we got those invitations out awfully late–it might just be family.”
“That’s okay.”
“I mean, Mom & Dad & Grandma & Grandpa… those other kids, we didn’t give them enough warning.” *twist knife of failed motherhood deeper into the heart*
“Will I have cake?”
“Yeah. Remember– we already ordered it.” For lots of people. We’ll have cake fore DAYS.
“Will I have a bunk bed?” Fuck. Fuck. The fucking bunk bed–it was a suggestion–I sounded him out for it, and he liked it, but we had the dog puking problem and had a thought that we might pay of that traffic ticket that’s about to put a warrant out for my arrest before we got another bill and…
“No, sweetheart. We’ll just get you a bunk bed anyway.” Hell, Mate just sold stock at a ridiculously low price. Let’s go bunk bed! “And I’ll tell you what! It doesn’t have to be a birthday present. You’ll get toys for your birthday. Lots and lots of toys.” Because in spite of the ridicule I just got from a colleague for wearing craptastic clothes to school, we WILL spend money on more worthless pieces of plastic if they make you happy after I have fucked up this day beyond repair!
“Will Auntie Wendy be there?”
“Absolutely.” Score one for motherhood#win. Don’t look at the #fail column. Do. Not. Look.
“Then it will be good. Can I have all the little robots?”
The little robots we bought to put in the goodie bags no one will get because no one will make it?
“Absolutely.”
“It will be good! I love you mom!”
“I love you too, Zoom Boy.”
Excuse me now while I go look up the cost of shrinks. We may need to start putting money away for one. I can’t #fail ALL the time.
