Not Dead Yet!


So, uh, yeah.

I ran away to Florida, and I brought my computer, but I did NOT bring my keyboard.  And I sat down to write at one point, and what I got was ” he uic rown ox ump over he azy o.”  Which should be “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog,” except, you know, the other version is missing most of the middle row of the keyboard.

Now people who have met me in public have often said they can’t imagine what me being bitchy or losing my temper would look like, and I assure them that it happens–not as often as it did when I was young, because hey, that thing about red-heads and temper isn’t just bullshit– but trust me, my inner bitch is not an oppressed creature by any means.

In this case, she showed her squinty-eyed gaze in a very terse series of texts to Mate:

Me: My computer keyboard isn’t working. I have a chance to write and blog and I can’t.

Mate: I’m sorry.

Me: We’re going shopping for a new computer Tuesday night.

Mate: Okay.

And since I’m usually, “Uh, is it okay? Can we get me a new thing? I hope that’s all right. I mean I need it. It’s part of my job. I can’t work without one. It’s okay, right?”  This was the equivalent of Amy going, “FUCK A DUCK. NEW COMPUTER FUCKING NOW.”  And Mate knew this.

So guess what I’m doing tonight.

But as for the DSP gathering?

Well, I don’t have any pictures– I have to admit, I’ve started to enjoy leaving my phone in my pocket recently and being more in the moment than documenting it.  In this case in the moment means I spent more time enjoying my friends’ company than I spent proving I had friends.  (Hey– we’ve all had those low points in our lives when we were pretty sure Tom Hanks and Wilson was the truest and best platonic relationship ever and that if we could only find a volleyball and a Sharpie, we too would know the fulfillment hinted at in our first grade primers. Sometimes when we come out of the writing cave, pictures are to say “Look, I know real people!” as much as they’re for anything else.)  But I loved every workshop I attended, and I’m grateful for the folks who understood that when I wasn’t able to stay for their presentation, it was for good reason.  (Since I got in at three a.m. Friday morning and fell asleep at four, then woke up at seven-thirty, I do admit that I missed Tara Lain’s superb insights on marketing mostly because if I didn’t sleep, I would have gotten sick. She was very gracious.)

Anyway– some of my texts home went, I’m in a workshop about forensic procedure, and there’s going to be a case study. I’ll see a dead body! Yay!  Or, I’m in Mary’s room, darning her socks. Oi, never again with the worsted weight 100% wool, because those blogs that say it works as well as fingering weight wool with nylon LIE. Or, in one case, Chicken, Terri Culverville’s tattoo looks OUTSTANDING. You do good work and she can’t say enough nice things.

So, you know, the gamut.

It was lovely. As usual, the quiet, small moments were the best. The quick joke between friends, the lunches with unexpected companions–but the fact is, the authors and staff of Dreamspinner Press are amazing, kind, funny, generous people. You really can’t go wrong in company.

And I got to spend part of my return trip with Kim Fielding, which was as unexpected as it was awesome. (And it’s a good thing we get along so well together– we’ve committed to a road trip to Vegas for RT. Sayin’. If we didn’t like each other, that would feel like it lasted a year, but we DO like each other so it will go by really quick 🙂

Anyway– there will probably be a *Kermit Flail* up on Thursday, which means if you have anything to add, send it in now!  And there will definitely be a fanfic weekend.  And I have a free short releasing on DSP and ARe tomorrow (it’s $.99 on amazon too.)  And Squish’s birthday to plan, and hey! Let’s not forget about Easter 😉  So, we’ve got things, folks. Lots and lots of things. 

But for now, I’m going to try to catch up on a week’s worth of stuff that I couldn’t get to, and I’m going to leave you with this.  I wrote it out freehand, and posted it to FB from my phone, and let’s say it was inspired by Elizabeth’s story of a jellyfish shifter story being pitched, Elle Brownlee’s adorable jellyfish impersonation, and less than four hours of sleep…

The Jellyfish and Seahorse went a courting,
And the problems they had weren’t few.
The Jellyfish, he was asexual.
And the seahorse was where babies grew.
But there’s nothing stronger than true love,
Even when under the sea
“Oh hit me big boy with that stinger!”
The seahorse had been heard to plead.
“Oh ride me with all of your tentacles,
I’m your gay oceanographic steed.”
“Who doesn’t get an erection.”
The Jellyfish said once again.
“All I really want to do is to cuddle,
And have you fondle my brain.”
“But your brain is really quite tiny,”
The Seahorse said with a sigh.
“And I know that I’m overly spiny,
But the relationship is still worth a try.”
The essence of love is compromise,
And the two of them did make it work.
The seahorse massaged that tiny brain
And went to sea porn to jerk.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *