Oh, you are not going to BELIEVE this.

And there’s a whole lot to not believe.

* My windshield wipers broke–on the freeway, coming home in a rainstorm. I have a nice divot in the glaze on my windshield to prove it. So Mate told me he fixed it, and during the next rainstorm, it came apart again, and I fixed it. During the next rainstorm, (yesterday morning) it came apart again. And so there I was, at the gas station, looking at it and feeling stupid–I mean, I’d THOUGHT I’d fixed the fucking thing.

And then he came. The GUY in the TRUCK. Mostly, all I saw at first was the utility truck, and I thought, “Good. A truck. This has GOT to be better than Mate or me–I don’t care if it’s a 400lb man with no teeth, he’s got TOOLS!”

Imagine my shock and mortification when the guy who got out looked exactly like this!

Now imagine me going all starry-eyed and weak-kneed as he walked up to me and offered to fix my windshield wiper. I don’t know what I said as he walked away, besides, “Thank you!” but what I wanted to say was “Oh PLOT-bunny!”

Alas, nothing’s as good as it looks. Plotbunny fucked up the windshield wiper too. The guy who actually figured out why it kept breaking was the solid, middle-aged bald black man at the auto part’s store who tried three different sizes and bragged about his children while he was ringing up the blade that fit. Seriously? By the time I drove home and the damned wiper worked, I would have had three more children for that guy. I LOVE him. But that’s okay– I got a twofer– I got Plotbunny, AND the guy who could fix my car!

* Yesterday, Zoomboy got into the car and he was SO excited. I was a little late picking him up, which meant that he got to spend an extra fifteen minutes with his bestie, Sam.

Chicken was trying to talk to me and Zoomboy was trying to talk to me, so I made her hold off so Zoomboy could tell me, “Sam is my B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-FF! Do you know what that means?”

“Yeah,” I said, “It means that he’s your best-best-best-best-best-best-best-best-best-best-friend!”

“No! It means he’s my best-best-best-best-best-best-best-best-best-best-best-best-best-BOY friend, FOREVER!”

Well, at this point, Chicken and I looked at each other and thumped our fists over our hearts–cause it was cute, and it did sort of gettya, you know, right THERE.

And then Zoomboy said, “We’re going to be together forever. And we’re going to die at the same time and be BURIED together!”

AT which point, Chicken and I looked at each other in complete horror, and Chicken said, “Good feeling gone!” And I shook my head in absolute agreement.

Boys. Go figure.

* We had a fire drill today during our STAR test. In the rain. It was my 4th period class (whom I have not hated all year) and they looked at me and said, (verbatim) “Miz Lane, are you shitting us? Seriously? We’re working our asses off, and some asshole pulled the fire alarm and we have to go out in the rain–are you shitting us?”

And I said, “Here–let me go see what the other teachers say…”

And they said, “They’re all meeting under that overhang–go conversate, Ms. Lane, because we are NOT going out there!”

Alas, they did go out there, but I was really heartened by how hard they were trying. I had to rip one kid away from his test–this kid had never finished a STAR test before–he’d always gotten suspended beforehand because he felt they were bullshit, but he was trying with this one. I must have told him six times that I was proud of him– wasn’t enough.

* And finally? I’ve updated the website but now I have to update it again. ‘Making Promises’ was GOING to be released in late June, but since DSP is also putting out the Whim story (‘Litha’s Constant Whim’) which is a Little Goddess novella, well, I wanted it released as close to Litha as I could get it. Little Goddess fans have poignant feelings about Litha– this should make the day a little less bitter. So ‘Making Promises’ is coming out in July/August, and ‘Litha’s Constant Whim’ are coming out in June/July, and ‘Phonebook’ and ‘Gambling Men: Raising the Stakes’ is coming out around then too, and ‘Curious’ is coming out next week, and so is the audio book version of ‘Keeping Promise Rock’. Uhm, wow.

I must be busy!