Me: I’m going to the mall and to get shoes–you guys can go or not, but I’m not buying any–
Kids: We’re going.
Squish: I need loafers.
Me: That’s fair–ZoomBoy, we’ll wait until after my check to get you new Vans, okay?
ZB: All I want is pretzels.
Me: That’s fair.
So Squish got loafers, and, well, a pair of blinded out $7 sunglasses, and I got flip-flops and a Tardis dress.
And ZB got pretzels.
And one more thing…
Mate: Do you want one of these Mrs. Fields cookies?
Me: No. I had one.
Mate: Why did you buy them?
Me: Because I had to look at my ankles under fluorescent lighting today.
Me: They’re ugly. Huge, bloated, swollen–like dead rotting whales attached to my feet.
Mate: And the cookie was gonna help that?
Me: I just wanted some justice. If my ankles were going to look that bad, I wanted to actually EAT SOMETHING that would make them look that bad.
Mate: *shakes head*
Me: Yeah, well, good news is, I’ve eaten one. Have some of the rest of the dozen.
Mate: *stuffs mouth* Sure.
Watched Armageddon while folding clothes and packing…
*sings badly* I’m a leaving, on a jet plane (totally plan on Sunday to be back again…)
*waves* See you there!