One liners…

I’ve been surrounded by them, and I’m trying to think of some of the zingers that have set Mate or I off in the last couple of days.

* I don’t know what T was watching–I’ve either forgotten or blocked it out. But a couple of nights ago he came up to me while I was knitting and watching television and said “Mom, what’s semen?”

Now, he knows the facts of life–I’m thinking this was just a vocabulary glitch, but it didn’t stop me from replying with a straight face, “Fish, honey. Really small fish.” Mate had to pick himself off the ground to give him the real answer, and when he did, T smacked himself on the forehead–yeah, he’d known all along.

And then he got the part about the fish.

* Today we were reviewing parts of Great Gatsby, and when (with some serious explaining from yours truly) it finally dawned on my students that Gatsby was willing to take the fall for Daisy, but she was dumping him for her faithless man-beast who was richer than Dog, they were suitably disgusted.

“Yup,” said one girl (a very bright, well dressed girl who shows up occasionally to turn in her work, earn her B, and dish about guys), “That there’s the Power of the Pussy. Just because you have it don’t mean you’ve got to use it.”

What could I say? She’d nailed the book completely.

* The last time she said it, she got such a positive response that she decided to try it again– Ladybug was reaching for one of her brother’s toys, and when I told her “No” she thought she’d go with “Nasty? Disgusting?”

“No,” I told her, laughing, “It’s Cave Troll’s!”

She smiled, an evil little gap-toothed smile if you must know the truth. “No,” she said, “Mine.” And then she snagged it, ran away laughing, and much hilarity ensued.

* A student–a nice kid who’s fairly chatty, but still, a nice kid, attempted to veer the conversation off topic one day, and got punked.

“Mando, would you stop flirting with Mara!” I reprimanded.
“Geez, Mz. Lane–I’ve had Mara for so many years–I had her in the seventh grade!”
Of course he meant ‘Had her in my class’ but that didn’t stop my smart-ass disease from kicking in.
“Do you really think she wants you just blurting out her business like that, Mando? If you ‘had’ her in the seventh grade, that might be something she wants to forget!”
It took him all period to live it down.

* “Yeah,” I sighed to our new principal, “Teaching 1984 is the hardest. I really want them to read and understand the book, because one of the most important things I can give them is the opportunity to question authority. Unfortunately, I have to get over the hypocrisy of making them sit down, dammit, and shut the hell up so they can listen to me tell them how to question fuckin’ authority!!!!”

And other than that? Two more Mondays to go, people–I’m starting to look forward to vacation–and part time. Part time scares me. I”m going to have to be smart with money, and I suck at it, but I think it will SO be worth it.

And thank you all, as well, for the support regarding Cave Troll–believe me, after dealing with Big T’s CH stuff, I definitely know that every kid has his or her own way to learn. The Cave Troll just takes setbacks so badly–I’m really hoping the distraction etc. is just a phase or something, because of all the ways kids get over obstacles, the one that hurts everybody most is the “Kicking it and screaming at it until it disintegrates under pressure” technique, and unfortunately, that’s the Cave Troll’s favorite.

BTW–I gave Kewyn’s counterpart in Bitter Moon (Cwyn) the nickname ‘Terror’, and I’m thinking of changing his name on the blog–what do you think? Terror and Ladybug? Or should I keep it to Cave Troll? (Or maybe I could be ubersweet and call him ‘dimples’ because he’s got a set of cuties you could fall into when he smiles!) Let me know what ya think!

0 thoughts on “One liners…”

  1. JenB says:

    Semen…hehe…there was an episode of South Park all about semen earlier this week.

  2. Galad says:

    I think he should stay Cave Troll because you don’t really want him to become “Terror”! That could make his teen years extremely interesting (for you)

  3. Julie says:

    HA!! YES!! AT LEAST ONE TEACHER GETS IT ABOUT FORCING ME TO READ 1984!!! Thank you. That made my day. If you really wanna scare ’em, make ’em read ‘Brave New World’.

    And may I suggest “Doctor Strangelove” for your next in-class movie? THERE WILL BE NO FIGHTING IN THE WAR ROOM.

    …my confirmation word is ‘faewindj’. I think you should name a character that.

  4. Donna Lee says:

    “Terror” or “Dimples”? Does anyone else sense a profound dichotomy here? I’d go with Dimples if only to avoid the whole self fulfilling prophecy thing.

  5. Siercia says:

    I’ve kind of always wondered that about teaching 1984 on a high school level.

  6. Louiz says:

    Ah, now we never read 1984 at school. I read it all by myself. But then my dissertation for my degree was on science fiction (written)…

  7. We used to call the Eldest, Monster.

    Great one liners. I’d get into to much trouble if I tried that at work.

  8. roxie says:

    Dimples! Oh, I vote for Dimples!

    Archive those one-liners. You could fill a book with them some day. You guys have SUCH a wonderful sense of humor!

    (I imagine making that remark about the Power of the Pussy when I was in high-school, and I can just feel the breeze as I get expelled, packed up and set out in front of the dorm, waiting for my parents to pick me up. My how things have changed!)

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