Squish was petting her cat tonight and found… *shudders*
Squish: Oh, hey– what’s this? What did you bring me? Is this a SLUG!
Me: *tiny voice* ew…
Squish: Look at it, Mom! It’s so cute!
Me: *tiny voice* Sure. Adorable. *closes eyes*
Squish: No, seriously–I’ve seen videos on tik-tok where they put the slugs in jars and keep them moist and cover them in leaves, and feed them loam and…
Me: *finally finding my voice* No. Absolutely not.
Squish: But Mom!
Me: Not on day… what day is it?
Me: Oh, shit–okay– so, day 11?
Me: Maybe day 23–maybe.
ZB: We can WHAT?
Squish: Make a tiny slug terrarium and keep adorable little baby slugs!
Me: Put that outside maybe?
ZB: OH MY GOD NO!
Squish: But they’re so CUTE!
ZB: *picking up dog* Cute? You call that CUTE? THIS. This is cute. Look at him? Isn’t he sweet?
Johnnie the dog: *rolls eyes and grimaces obsequiously*
Squish: He’s fine–but imagine a little jar full of baby slugs!
Me and ZB: No. No. We are not that bored.
Squish: *walks toward door to deliver baby slug softly on a bed of damp grass* Not. Yet.
Johnnie the dog: *looks a little alarmed*