This first one’s so you remember that I have an older son, he’s ginormous, and to give you an idea of who it is I’ve been playing tug-of-war with when I tell you that we’ve been trying to share Harry Potter for three days. I won the war today when I finished it, and was a little insulted when he said, “I win the pool! I said she’d be done today!” Well, yeah–because I gave it to him all yesterday so I didn’t go into a book coma and could function well enough to do my schoolwork.
And this one’s to remind me that the perfectly nice professor in charge of the purple yakshit class that I’m taking cannot be blamed for not understanding that the class is yakshit and the only one taking it seriously is herself. I know that she’s taking it seriously because when I opened my assignment link last night and was walloped in the head with the humongulous project that it entailed, my family had to peel me off the ceiling. It’s one of those “write 2 paragraphs about this and 3 about that and so on…” and when I counted how many paragraphs the damn thing is supposed to have, I stopped at paragraph 22. I’m doing the bare minimum, taking the C, and getting on with my life. I mean, DAMN!!!
This one’s keeping me cool because nobody’s bought a book in forever, and that always stresses me out (even though I’ve rebounded from slumps before) and it feels like karma for arguing with the ‘my hometown’ lady and her two star review. But what’s REALLY weird in bookland is not that nobody’s BUYING, but that nobody’s buying and everybody is REVIEWING. I’ve racked up like, four reviews in the last week, (five if you count the one in Barnes and Nobles and I do) and I’m so much more than grateful to the nice people who jumped on line and picked up my book and then signed on to say nice things to me. Apparently, judging by the way I lost it when I get the bad reviews, good reviews are like chocolate to the dementors kiss… I’ll try to keep that sort of freaking out to a minimum now people–I’m not all that impressed by my total emotional breakdown at that last two star review…having viewed the amazon.com forums at length this summer, I should know that in addition to some bright, articulate people with fun views to discuss, there are also some prickly critical bitchslappers out there, and I’ve got my ovaries in a position where I’m not allowed to duck. But since I’m on this subject, I’ve got a couple of links for you.
Meet CeciM , a fellow haunter of the amazon.com forums and a budding book reviewer–she is funny, articulate, adores fantasy sci-fi, and jumped to my defense with the heart of a dragon. Give her a hullo if you have a chance (and pump up >Roxie’s book to her!!! She’d be an awesome choice to review!)
Also, meet Karen Michele Nutt Karen’s gorgeous book has been in my queue all summer, and now that I’m done with Harry Potter, (SQUEEEEEEEE and AAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHH…if you have any questions about those two reactions, e-mail me….I’m the worst at giving spoilers so I’m making people ask for them) I’ve got two to four more quick books before I get to hers. I’ve been looking forward to it, like saving ice cream for after dinner.
And, finally, meet Floyd. Floyd Orr is a brave soul who speaks out for self-published book authors. You know how I am heartily embarrassed because the first review for my first two books are MINE and not the work of complete strangers? I did that because people don’t like to break the ice–for a relative unknown, nobody wants to give the first book review, and it’s hard to convince people you’re legit unless someone reviews your book. Floyd Orr is the answer to this–in his blog, he reviews self-published books (iUniverse only? I’m afraid I’m not clear on that…) and interviews self-published authors. He only reviews books he can review positively (which is nice–no flaming reviews)and he sends reviews to amazon.com and Barnes & Nobles–the places where potential customers might see them. I was biting my nails to see if Floyd would review Vulnerable because he’s a self-professed stickler for grammar and editing, and we all know these are my weakest points, especially (ESPECIALLY) in my first book, but he agreed and I was thrilled, and so I should be up on his blog by the end of this week/beginning of next week.
And Maizy–has anyone heard of Maizy? It’s 82% corn, 18% elastic, and it’s SOCK-YARN… the thing is, people, the colors are just UNREAL…something about the corn just sops up and supersaturates with the colors here, and it’s delicious… of course, I’m still projects and projects behind, and I still have that Tofutsies stuff which is 2% chitin from last year, but still…something about the yumminess of the color and that comforting, dry, cornstarchy feeling between my fingers may just launch me into another damned sock… I mean, we’re leaving on vacation soon (Mother of Chaos you don’t need to cackle like that…) and I need a round and round project for all of that chirpy conversation I provide so that Mate feels sufficiently entertained as we drive.