Rocking the Sweater

First of all, Kermit Flail will be on Tuesday– repeat KERMIT FLAIL WILL BE ON TUESDAY!

Yeah, I decided to take Labor Day off– sue me!

So, for those of you who didn’t see it on Twitter or FB, this is ZoomBoy in his sweater. (You may recognize this sweater as the thing the dog was hiding under in yesterday’s blog post. Woowoo indeed.)

Anyway– here’s ZoomBoy, rocking the sweater.

Now for those of you who don’t know, I’ve been writing short fiction for Yarn! magazine– I’m in issues 49, 50, and 51, and will continue to write for them until they kick me off, I think, because they’re pretty awesome. BTW you can get the magazine from if you prefer an electronic format and don’t want to pay for shipping, but I will tell you that the production values in this publication are stunning and I’m proud to be a part of it.

Anyway, Rie, my editor, keeps telling me they want me to write patterns. And I”m always a little baffled. Can she not see that the things I make are sort of… erm… patternLESS? It’s always “Well, I sort of did what the pattern said here, but I changed it here, and here and here and here and I used a whole different yarn and finally I crocheted it instead of knitted it because the sun was in WTF rising.”

I told her I did “math-less crochet” and bless her, she said, “We’d like to see you write up some math-less crochet patterns– that would be GREAT!” And now I’m like, “God. I’d almost rather go back and count my stitches.”

But anyway– this is a math-less crochet pattern. I chained a back as wide as ZoomBoys and wrapped it around his waist until a little past the sides so I”d have ease, then made a big rectangle for the back.

And two smaller ones for the front.

And then I sewed that together (or crocheted it together, actually) and  added sleeves. And a collar. And, well, there you go.

So there.

Math-less crochet.


Seriously– I may have to write an actual pattern for that.

There are test-pattern people who are going to have to FOLLOW AN ACTUAL PATTERN for that.

My brain just exploded.

Speaking of?

If you decide to get Yarn! magazine, expect to find an actual math-less pattern for fingerless mittens in issue 53, and a story to match.

The pattern’s been submitted. I just need to write the story.

*headdesk* Life is weird. I mean, WEIRD.

But ZoomBoy likes his sweater, so that’s pretty awesome.

I’ve started one for Mate.


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