Okay– so I whined a bit about being in a piss-bitchy mood yesterday and then went back to write.
I woke up this morning, and it hit me like a big scaly monster with wings: I’ve been riding the goddamned dragon. No WONDER I’m sleep deprived. No WONDER I’m punky. I’m writing–my brain is in the place where it doesn’t turn off, and well, hell–here I am. A piss-bitchy-scaly-winged horror, ripping my family’s faces off and dining on their angst.
Well–there’s a cure all for that, you know! It’s called BUFFY! Sure enough, six, eight episodes later, and the dragon is tamed and ready to be cut loose on another couple of chapters withOUT the side of family faces for dessert. The family is much relieved.
But, I do warn you, there are some consequences to watching Buffy and ripping faces off. For example, there was THIS conversation with Squish yesterday:
“I had a bad dream, mommy!”
“Really–what sort of dream?” She is sitting on our bed as we have this conversation, and Mate and I are still under the covers.
“You waked up the man-that was bad!”
Mate and I look at each other. “I woke up your daddy, sweetheart?”
“No, no–the man. He was a sawmee.”
Again, we exchange looks. “Saw-mee?” we mouth. “Saw-mee?”
I turn to Squish again. “Okay, Squish–you got us. What’s a sawmee?”
She put her hands together in front of her. “Saw-mees! You know! Saw-mees! They is skeery!”
“Sawmees are scary?”
“Yes. Because they’re with goats.”
“The sawmees are scary because they’re with the goats. What do the goats do?”
“They chase the sawmees!”
“So the sawmees are afraid of the goats?”
“Yes. The goats make scary sounds.”
“Do they go “naaaaahahaahaaaa?” I ask. Trust me–I do a killer goat imitation. She couldn’t have been confused.
“No–they go “wwhooooooooooooo”!” And, yes, she does a good imitation of the scary transparent dead.
Suddenly the light bulb goes on. “Honey–were the sawmees being chased by ghosts?”
Again, Mate and I, meeting eyes. “Sawmees? Being chased by GHOSTS?”
“Yeah. The sawmees want to eat my brains.”
And now, can you see it? The glory-be-and-hallefucinglujia lightbulb?
“Squish–were you being chased by ZOMBIES in your dream?”
“Yes! I told you! The sawmees chased me, and the goats chased the sawmees!”
Mate and I were happy. We met eyes and said, “Of course. It all makes sense. Sawmees and goats! In our family, what else would you possibly want to dream about?”
