Scary Movies

First of all, I got the picture from a FB page called 9Gags, and HERE’S THE LINK for more IT themed fun.  Go at your own risk–Tim Curry smoking a cigarette while dressed as Pennywise is pretty much the epitome of creepy.

Anyway, It is coming out, and the whole world has gone bug nuts with red balloons everywhere.

I don’t think I’ll watch it.

Just saying–I know my tolerance for scary stuff, and it’s weird and varied, and on one hand I love it and on the other hand…

I’m a big fat weenie who would just as soon the rest of you all keep your weird scary fetishes to yourself.

Unless the story is really really goddamned good.

Here, in no particular order, is my response to scary stuff over the years. Feel free to analyze me based on this list, or share your own–but don’t try to get me to sit through stuff that already freaks me out.

The X-Files– yes.

Supernatural– yes.

Poltergeist–both the old and the new one–but I liked the old one better.

Jaws– absolutely.

Valentine’s Day, the version with Jensen Ackles in it, which was, of course, the only reason I’d go see that movie–yeah. See Jensen Ackles as the only reason Chicken and I were even in the theater.

Paranormal Activity– the kids had to nail me to the fuckin’ couch to get me to stay.

The Ring– not only am I sorry I went, because nightmares, but Mate was sorry I dragged him there, because nightmares.

The Exorcist, the TV series– Yeah, I could have watched more of that shit.

American Horror Story– I do not know what’s wrong with you people. How do you even watch that shit, I can’t sit through the previews.

The Sixth Sense– Yes. And The Village. And Signs. And Unbreakable. But after that, my M. Night Shyamalan fixation sort of dissipates. Wait… wait… I liked the mermaid one too. Don’t judge me.

Lake Placid– because Betty White says the word “cocksuckers” and Bill Pullman flirts with Bridget Fonda.

The Conjuring– Give it up. Mate and I almost wet our pants during the previews. In our defense, it doesn’t help that well-meaning relatives have given both our daughters enough scary freaky china dolls to make Squish’s room virtually unlivable.

Any of the other “Annabelle” movies–What did I just say? CREEPY. DOLL.

The Exorcist movie– No. Once again, the previews alone make us cry. We’re weak, wimpy and woeful.

Legion–Paul Bettany, without a shirt, looking badass. Yeah, there were demons, but… Paul Bettany. Without a shirt. You understand.

Walking Dead– This one is rough. I’d watch it, Mate won’t. *sigh*

Dawn of the Dead– I saw it 12 years ago and still suffer nightmares. So, no.

Shawn of the Dead– Absolutely. Will watch that one until the tape fades.

Nosferatu– Course.

And American Werewolf in London– Oh yeah.

Lost Boys– DUDE!

Hm… gonna stop there, because I must go to bed sometime, but you get the picture.

Hit or miss, I think.

Maybe we’ll watch It when it comes out on Netflix.

Maybe we’ll watch the How to Train Your Dragon cartoons instead.