Shhhhh… It is sleeping.

Random slices of crazy pie today–enjoy!

**We were watching a taped episode of Cold Case today, where the events of the entire episode actually flashed through Lilly Rush’s head in the space AFTER her car went into the river and BEFORE she was rescued.

Big T and I looked at each other and said, “Oh my God–It’s THE OCCURRENCE AT OWL’S CREEK BRIDGE!”

He knew what that reference was–can I say I was so proud? Oh yeah.

**This one is thanks to a Twitter trend some of you may recognize.

Chicken and I were watching an episode of Spider Man (OLD episode) and an ‘earlier years’ hero made an appearance. His name was ‘Whizzer’.

Chicken and I met eyes and said (again, in tandem) “Whizzer? WORST super power EVER!”

**Tuesday, I took Cave Troll (who is already out of school this week) with his little sister to day care. On the way there, he suddenly started singing:

Start spreading the news,
We’re leaving today,
I’m gonna be a part of it…
Second grade Second grade…

He learned it in school–apparently it was better than the first grade song. Have been laughing about it ever since.

**Tuesday also, I asked the babysitter how the kids were doing. Ladybug is usually “Very quiet and self-contained” when she is alone. Poor Brenda was a little bit unprepared for the Ladybug/Cave Troll one-two sucker punch, and said so.

“They were… uhm… interesting.”

“Oh–did they fight a lot?”

“Mmm… no. More like they picked on everybody else.”


At that moment, Brenda got a phone call and I got to see them in action. First Ladybug put down a tea pot, then the kid across from her picked it up. Ladybug pointed and whined and said, “Give that back!”

The other kid wasn’t stupid. “No! I had it first!”

So Ladybug said, “Caaavvveee Trooooollll!!!”

And the Cave Troll took the tea pot away from the other kid and gave it to his sister.

“Ohmigod!” I said. “She’s the tyrant and he’s her enforcer!”

Brenda nodded, looking a little dazed. “All day, Ms. Lane. They did that ALL DAY!”


**And (also yesterday!), I was sitting at my desk, feeling angry and weepy (okay, I could deal with menstruation if I could only get rid of that goddamned female “I’m so pissed I could CRY on you!” bullshit! Goddess? God? Anyone listening to me? NOT. FUCKING. FAIR!) Anyway, I was having a shit day, but the kids all knew what they were supposed to do (or would have if they weren’t sheep!) and one kid walked in late. I ignored him. We’ve got three days left, and the kid has so many tardies he’s already late for next year, if they did it, so I kept working on my end-of-the-year swampshit, and the kid looked a little put out he didn’t get the tardy lecture. This is one of my Fab Five of Third period–sort of a perennial pain in the ass, right?

“What’s the matter, Ms. Lane? You look sort of out of it today, like you didn’t bring IT or something.”

IT? Bring IT? IT is asleep! IT has been pounded into dust by you fuckers, because every day I bring IT you piss on it, stomp on IT in cleats and then steal the fillings out if IT’S teeth! (I’m missing a VERY beloved dvd, one of a set btw… you all know which set, don’t make me say it.) And when IT actually DOES do a little asskicking of IT’S very own, IT gets stomped on by a royal prickweenie who thinks that BEING a prickweenie makes him some sort of hero and then belittles ME for trying to teach the kids about the American Heroic archetype that actually GAVE him that idea. Bring IT? IT HAS A ‘SHIT ON ME’ HANGOVER!!!! IT is home, sleeping off another crap year in a place that never really liked IT in the first place, and I’m here powering on, and I don’t have IT so just leave me the fuck alone, because you can’t possibly pass at this juncture anyway and I can only explain that to you so many times before IT takes a holiday and you’re left to your own devices to pick your own goddamned nose!

Or, at least that’s what I WOULD have said, if only IT had been with me. As it was I grunted “The assignment’s on the board. Cheat sheet. Really important. I’ve said it six to eight times already. Get to work.” Because, you know, IT was sleeping, and my job isn’t a lot of fun without IT.

*whew* But, in good news? I’m 610 pages into Rampant, and the next time I blog (probably!) I’LL BE ON SUMMER VACATION! Root for me people–and let’s hope IT shows up for the next two days.

0 thoughts on “Shhhhh… It is sleeping.”

  1. DecRainK says:

    Yay for you almost being on summer vacation (the district I sub for ended on the 9th but I still have credential classes) and might I add a hearty WOOHOO for the number of Rampant pages thus far. No worries Mrs. Lane, your IT shall return once you don't have to deal with mr prickweanie :0)

  2. Donna Lee says:

    I could deal with the whole period thing if I weren't so weepy. I cry at everything and my family is just used to it. It doesn't seem quite fair that at 51 when I am way past wanting a baby that I still suffer each month. totally not fair.

  3. roxie says:

    It? They want IT? They can't HANDLE IT! IT would kick their butts up between their puny shoulderblades and those baggy-ass shorts are gonna look even crappier then! IT would give them a boot to the head every four minutes just because they don't have the brains to duck. IT would break them down and tread them into the mulch if not restrained. They don't deserve IT! Little dickheads.

  4. Louiz says:

    Hope your lovely student has a lovely pratfall right in front of all his friends.

  5. Galad says:

    Cave Troll and Ladybug are a mighty team. I think she has the whole empress thing down pretty well!

  6. TinkingBell says:

    Lucky you – summer hols and a trip without children…
    I'm stuck in quarantine with mine for a week because we had a oine hour stop over in melbourne airport which is the swine flue capital of the universe.

    I was looking forward to sending them to school next week and getting my life back.

    Need an editor for Rampant? I still need to track down number 2 in the little goddess, but am happy to edit for you if you want – hey – I'm not doing anything else at the moment except beign a referee in the fights!

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