Shut Up and Take Mommy’s Money

So, about seeing your youngest turn ten…

“God, Mom– did you buy her enough dolls?”

“You don’t… you don’t even understand. She’s ten. Just yesterday she was born. And now my baby is ten. And she asked for Monster High dolls. Do you have any idea how long this is going to last?”


“Me neither. Hand me the third doll, we may be able to shove it into the birthday bag.”

So, about watching your twelve year old suffer from insomnia and nightmares and worry about his state of mind and want something, anything, to make him happy until we get this sorted out…

“I looked, honey, and it wasn’t there.”

“I know, Mom it’s not–“

“I mean your sister and I combed Target, but it wasn’t there. I mean, as soon as they stock it, I’ll get it, I promise.”

“I get it, Mom, did you know–“

“I didn’t forget you, even though this weekend is all about yo ur sisters MOMMY STILL LOVES YOU!!!!”

“Mom, it’s okay. The Force Awakens isn’t even out until Tuesday.”

So, about kicking my oldest out of the minivan every morning so he can catch the city bus to school and work…

“I’m getting coffee, do you want anything?”


“Orange juice?”


“Those little tangerine things?”


“I’m just asking.”

“Okay, orange juice.”


So, about coming out of the shower and thinking that Chicken was home this weekend and I loved her and missed her and I wanted her to stay forever and ever, and then, after getting dressed, I open the door and she’s right outside…

“Mom, can I have some money for lunch with my friend?”

“Here, here’s the cash in my wallet, and my credit cards, and the check I haven’t deposited and here’s daddy’s passcode and–“

“Mom, it’s twenty-bucks for Panera.”


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *