Some Things to Remember About Mom…

*  Don’t send her out for donuts and expect her to come back with a measly dozen.

Danger: This movie will GUT you.

*  Don’t show her a sad movie and expect her not to cry.

*  Don’t leave her alone to work and expect there not to be a nap at some point in time.

*  Don’t ask her why she quit cleaning the kitchen table when you were born
, because that gets the whole, “Well, writing,” and suddenly you have to evaluate how screwed up mom is and whether or not she’s raising you right.

*  Don’t ask her to read your tarot unless you’re prepared to get her an ice water. I don’t ask for silver, but I do ask for ice water.

*  Don’t ask her to make a side dish unless you expect it for five-hundred people.

*  Don’t show her pictures of her offspring who is far away and not expect her to get all verklempt.

*  Don’t torture her favorite characters in your story and expect her to not get very upset.  *glares at Mary Calmes*

*  Don’t bitch about doing the dishes when she’s fed you.

*  Don’t ask her to sit down and watch a movie (or two) because she will flush her entire day down the toilet to chill with her family.

0 thoughts on “Some Things to Remember About Mom…”

  1. Unknown says:

    hey, ok, so point # 5 you read Tarot? So if I bring chocolate (which I already owe you) and ice water next time I see you, you'd consider reading mine? I've never had that. I think it would be cool.

    Point #8: W.T.F. What has Mary done now? *narrows eyes*

    point #10: Yes. 1000 times yes.

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